Saturday, May 12, 2012

Anniversary Wife Hack!

Hey Everybody! This is Mrs. The OG and today is our 5th wedding anniversary. Jayrod isn't really into traditional gifts, so I have to get creative in order to make him smile. I decided to hack into his blog and tell everyone how great he is.

 Jayrod and I were married in the Manti LDS temple in 2007. We met on an ancient website called MySpace, and I was drawn to him by a poem he had written and posted on his page. Well, that and a picture of himself in his army uniform. *drool* Our courtship was a quick one, not because it's an LDS tradition, but because 2 weeks after he proposed he was told that he was going to Iraq for a year. We were so broke when we got married, I had no wedding dress, there were no flowers, and our Utah reception was pot luck - but we were so happy.

It has been a great 5 years. That being said - marriage is hard. It is why half of them end. It's a ton of work, and if you ever take a day off, you have just given yourself an extra day of work to make up later. There are ups and downs, twists and turns, and on the day you get married you seem to think that the downs won't be so bad. We have shared a half decade of joy, laughter, love, funny dances, buying our first home, fun trips, friends, cuddling, holding hands, personal growth, sharing, and blessings. We have endured a half decade of deaths, being broke, depression, deployments, illness, sacrifice,  miscommunication and sinks full of dirty dishes that nobody wants to do.

And there is no other person that I would rather have endured with.

There are a few things that I would like to share about Jayrod, that you would otherwise never know.

On a bitter winter night this past January, Jayrod came across a homeless man downtown. He took him to a motel and paid for him to spend the night there. Someone spent a warm night in a clean bed because my husband was willing to sacrifice of his time and money. I was so proud of him that night.

When my Grandfather died, I was sobbing and dry heaving on the bathroom floor in the middle of the night. Jayrod quietly walked in, sat down on the floor and stayed with me for I don't know how long. There was nothing he could say to take away my pain, but he just sat there with me and shared that moment.

He has terrible allergies, his sinuses are always bothering him. Because of this, we decided to not have pets when we got married. But once he realized there was a hole in my life from not having creatures in my care, he changed his mind. A couple of days before Christmas 2008 we went to the Ogden Animal Shelter and filled that hole with cat hair.

I have a terrible irrational fear of flying, and I'm pretty embarrassed about it too because I know how ridiculous it is. As a result, I often take the long way to get places, opting to drive or sometimes I will take a train or bus. Jayrod has never complained about it or ridiculed me (like everyone else has.) He took a 52 hour train trip with me cross country and didn't mumble about it once. I think the army has taught him to be patient during long trips.

There is something that I want to share, but I think it will make him uncomfortable if I share it specifically. But I will say this, he was kind to the detainees in his care during his 1st deployment to Iraq.

Here are a few things that we have learned about marriage:

The things that drive you crazy about your spouse? In 10 years, they will probably still do those things - it just won't bother you anymore.

Putting a ring on your finger does not make you suddenly oblivious to the opposite sex. Sometimes we will notice attractive people. It's ok that we continue to have eyes and hormones after our nuptials. Thinking that someone else is attractive does not mean that you love your spouse any less. We will occasionally point out attractive people to each other.

Name calling does not belong in a marriage. In 5 years of fights, Jayrod has never once called me an ugly name, and I have only done it once for which I swiftly apologized.

The obligation of marriage is what binds you together through the times where you might not want to be together. Those feelings will pass, and you will be glad for the glue that held you together.

Love is loving the other person more than you love your own pride.


Also, a list of books that have helped us tremendously:

The 5 Love Languages
And They Were Not Ashamed
Desperate Marriages
The 5 Languages of Apology
CoDependent No More
Between Husband and Wife
The Power of Commitment

Happy Anniversary Bear! This is my gift to you. Well, actually the new wedding ring that I gave you in December... that was supposed to be your gift. But there was no way in hell I was going to wait 6 months to give that to you. I love you!

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