Black, White, and Rainbow

Yet it often is.  From the time I was a child, I was taught to think in terms of black and white.  To steal was a sin, to lie was a sin, and to kill was a sin.  Yet as an adult I learned:

• That stealing was okay as long as it was ideas (All collegiate essays require you to cite your source material).
• That lying was okay to preserve peoples feelings (Does this dress make me look fat?  Answer yes, and watch what happens).
• And killing was fine when the government mandated it (How many have died due to the death penalty or war?).

Perhaps we teach children in black and white, because its easier, but unfortunately too many of those black and white ideas follow us into adulthood.  And we begin basing the world around the black and white fallacy.

Take a step back and think about this as if you were a child: Jimmy takes Timmy's lunch money.  Some of us might teach our children Jimmy is bad because he takes Timmy's lunch money.  As a child this is as far as we will take the logic.  Truth is that Jimmy takes Timmy's lunch money because his Dad spends all their money gambling.  And when Dad spends the money Jimmy's Mom gets drunk and hits him.  So he's only doing what he's being taught at home.  So where is Jimmy spending the money?  To buy something for dinner before he gets home, because if he comes home with money, it will be taken.  Both Jimmy and Timmy in this case are being taught to think in terms of black and white.  Timmy is learning stealing is wrong and that it isn't right for the strong to pick on the weak.  Jimmy has been trained that life is about strength, and the strong take what they can to survive. 

This kind of thinking is called black or white fallacy or a false dichotomy.  Where two alternative states are presented as the only possibilities, when in fact more possibilities exist.  And lots of people suffer from it from those who suffer from Borderline Personality to a person dealing with Depression.  In politics you can watch this kind of thinking taking place on a national scale and Americans rush to take sides.  It even invade our speech when we think about ethnicity. White is associated with being cultured and educated.  When a hispanic or a black man are either they are called white.  Violence, drugs, and gangs are all associated with young hispanic or black men.  Its a little frightening when you really think about it.

The commonly accepted view seems to tilt towards white, grey, and black thinking.  Because most situations are not black or white and rather are someplace in between.  Like the question of whether we should raise taxes for millionaires.  Some folks feel that when someone earns their keep they should be able to use it as they wish.  Others feel that if they have excess they should give it away to those who have less.  This question isn't that simple though, because there are millionaires who give to charity yearly for the purposes of the tax breaks.  So they are already supporting those with less.  Should they be required to give even more?  Bill Gates says yes.  Others say no.  This isn't a yes or no question, but rather one that doesn't lend itself to any easy answers.  But too often we want easy answers.

And even among those who think in terms of white, grey, and black it tends to be difficult.  A pregnant teen faces how people really think too often.  She just wanted to prove to her boyfriend she loved him.  Does that make her bad?  And if she isn't bad, why does her father call her a slut and refuse to help her?  Why does the boy tell her she meant nothing to him and he won't support the child?  Why do the same people who fight against her aborting the child also fight the agencies that want to help her keep the child?  And if she chooses to keep the child why won't anyone employ her?  Some Christians will tell her that her child will be born in sin without a father.  Other people will tell her she's a bad Mom, because she's not doing enough to find a way to support her child.  And all this while she has no emotional support, no financial support, or friends to help her out.  She has been painted black and it was all from a few hours of fun.  But is that the truth?  Is that right?  And in all this have any of these people actually thought about the child in her womb?  Of course you have, you thought: Hey put the child up for adoption!  Which would be a viable option out of a lot of the troubles she's facing, but at this point she might not have the support to even make that choice.  And that's a scary part of the society we live in. 

Perhaps what is most troubling when we carry this white, black , and grey thinking into religion.  There are Christians out there who think that the only way to God is through Christianity.  Muslims that believe the only law is Sharia Law.  And Jews who believe both are terribly misguided.  But where does that leave the Taoist, the Buddhist, and the Atheist?  Are they wicked because they believe differently?  I think these are questions that the grey area doesn't adequately cover.  We should have a means of being able to recognize each other for who we are, separate the choices a person has made from that, and work to make the lives for all human life better.  And I think that particular thought process is best compared to a prism.

The white light that is reality comes into the prism.  And for some of us what we perceive as one color of the spectrum another person will see differently, however we are able to keep in mind that it all comes from the same ultimate source.  Some folks may say that source is God.  Others science.  I call it life.  And with life I can paint a picture of stunning beauty or terrible cruelty.

I had a teacher who was fond of saying, "There is only one race: The Human Race."  I agree with him.  We don't live in a black and white world.  And what is grey to you might be black to another person.  But when we see each other as critical parts of a whole, the black and white thinking perishes and we begin thinking of our families, our communities, and our world in different ways.  I love every color of the spectrum, and there is a need for each of us.  The Jimmys and Timmys and unwed teens alike.  We are all going to make mistakes according to the culture we live in and the rules it binds us by, but we do not have to see the world in black, white, and grey.  It is full of color, both in morality and ethnicity.

Whew!  That was a challenging one.  Thanks for hanging with me to the end.  On Wednesday I'll tackle both goals and the IWSG.  I'm Jayrod Garrett, the First OG and I just want to know:

Which do you prefer?  Black, White, and Grey or The Color Spectrum?

Faces of Manipulation: Abuse the Generational Destroyer

We hear a lot about abuse in our society today.  There is both outrage that we allow it to go on in our society, and that people would allow these things to happen to them.  I find this curious though because too few people have even an idea of how abuse starts.  So today lets reveal some of the patterns of Generational Abuse, and I see no better place to start than in the current Presidential Election between Mitt Romney and Barack Obama.

I think both of these men are good people.  I think they both have the best interests of America at hand. But I find it interesting that when you hear their campaigns, they both have to wreck the reputation of the other because "that's how the game is played."  I've seen so many things about Mitt Romney being a flip-flopper and how he cannot stay consistent on any political subject there is for long.  I've also seen a lot of propaganda about how Obama has destroyed the economy of the United States.  And you hear about the negative so often that if there is any good, it is overshadowed by negative and hence you cause people to become disillusioned to the good of voting, the entire race for President becomes a popularity contest, and men who should be friends and colleagues working towards the best future for America, become bitter rivals who leave trails of discontent and shame in their wake.

But it doesn't stop there.  Then we the people step in and add our own two cents to everything.  From folks looking for ways to make Obama a Muslim and why Romney isn't a Christian.  Because they are threats to what we as people most value.  And in my opinion, what we value most my friends is power.

Anyone entrusted with power will abuse it if not also animated

with the love of truth and virtue, no matter whether he be a prince,

or one of the people. - Jean de La Fontaine, French Poet

When it comes to abuse of any kind it is all about power.  Think about it.  When a person gets so frustrated at their baby that they shake them violently it is a power struggle.  A newborn can make an adult feel helpless because they are so dependent on the adult for everything.  And in the cultures where folks say it is wrong to leave your newborn with someone else so you get a break it gets particularly difficult.  And when that child has cried for hours upon end and it isn't because they are sleepy, hungry, wet, cold, too warm or anything else you can do something about it is enough to break a person.  So when a parent shakes their child, how empowered must they feel when that silences their child?  The pattern repeats because they have found a way to quiet the child, and empower themselves.  Similar empowerment could have been achieved with finding a good friend to watch the child, but some of us just don't have friends who are that good.

But this doesn't just happen to children.  It happens in domestic partnerships (whether couples live together or get married) frequently also.  For example with a man who beats his wife, he usually is angry about something.  Usually it has to do with him, but he takes it out on her because it is easier.  So as he gets angrier about his own mistakes his tension builds.  Finally he gets so angry that he hits her.  He beats her until he's released all the tension that's within.  When she tries to get away it makes him angry because without her he can't release that tension.  Later he'll tell her how sorry he is for doing it and he'll even give her a gift of some sort to try and make it up to her and then things will be alright for a little while.  Until he gets overwhelmingly angry again.  Usually we think the man in this situation is a terrible person and we blame him for everything, but lets be honest.  He's a victim caught in a cycle which is a lot larger than he is.  This pattern of abuse has been in his family for generations already.  According to this source one fourth of domestic abuse goes unreported.  And before OJ Simpson how much went unreported?  And reporting it to the police doesn't even mean they can do anything in a lot of cases.  Because if the judge throws it out or the abuser is released from jail the next day, doesn't that just mean they are walking back into that home more angry?  And more angry means the beating lasts longer and is more severe.  Or that he needs to find other outlets for this anger, such as his children.

And in all of this most men who are perpetrating this crime are victims of such abuse themselves.  The kids like Harry Potter who turn out superbly well adjusted despite their abuse are remarkably rare.  I wish I were one of them myself.  But I'm not.  But I don't hold that against the person who hurt me.  They are a victim in this cycle just the same as I am.  The difference between us is I no longer choose to be a victim.  I reject that label and the cycle that comes with it.  Like Harry Potter, I am a cycle breaker.  

I didn't even know I was perpetuating the cycle, until recently.  Even when you aren't trying to be abusive by hitting someone, or calling them names, the tones you use and the words you choose can send messages loud and clear that will be interpreted as "hurtful and cruel."  And when I realized it I felt like I was less than the ants that people stepped on.  For me this is another effect of my own abuse, because the voices of my childhood still affect me daily.

Cycle breaking is hard.  It requires a different strength than it required for you to deal with the abuse.  Because you have change everything you learned before.  Never say a woman or a child isn't strong because of the abuse they've dealt with, actually they are very strong.  But that strength has to be developed in different ways to silence the voices of their abusers in their head.  I'm in group therapy right now to share my story in an environment I can trust and build that new strength.  And God-willing I'll be able help others one day.  Because the power I care about is Love, Truth, and Virtue.

This is not my mission alone however.  Everyone of us can do something to break the cycles of abuse.  It starts with learning about abuse.  Why abusers do what they do, why the victims feel the way they feel, and how to get each the help they need to break their cycles.  Because we all need help to break our vicious cycles and begin new virtuous cycles.  And though it is hard, it is worth it to no longer carry the chains of generational abuse anymore.

Thanks for reading today.  On Monday I hope to address the various ways people in the world think.  And have a few more blogs in the buffer so that this will be much more efficient.  Until then I'm Jayrod Garrett, the First OG with a question for you:

Antwone Fisher

Joyce Meyer

Carlos Santana

Are you a cycle breaker?

War Post: April 25th Mashup & Goals

It is another Wednesday and I'm so happy to be back folks.  It is interesting how just little things can change in your life and just suck the life right out of you.  As I look back the depression had inched its way into me over several weeks, but I'm "leaning into the pain" (even though to be honest I don't want to sometimes) and learning some new lessons.  Once upon a time I had a motto that I can do hard things, and I think its time I picked that back up again.  One of the hard things I plan on doing is keeping more goals and making them smaller so that I can accomplish them more frequently.  But first today, we are going to have a proper Mashup, cause let's be honest.  We haven't had a good one in a few weeks.  Let's do this.

Esther Inglis-Arkell tells us the truth we should have known about summer in: "The Physics that Explain Why You Should Wear Black This Summer."

I love Ingrid, she always finds great advice for folks like in this post: "To Type or Not to Type?"

David Powers King offers some awesome tips for how to actually make it in the writers market in: "Aspiring Advice: Selling (Being) Yourself."

My friend Heidi Thornock asked a great question in her blog and I hope that some of you might be able to visit and answer her at: "Why do we care about Grammar?"

The Wordsmith mentions some pretty good suggestions as how to get yourself writing when you don't feel you can in: "3 Steps to a Focused Writing Environment."

Kristen Lamb points out something I hadn't realized about Villians in: "The Key Ingredient for Dramatic Tension – Understanding the Antagonist."

Todd Hollingshead brings us news of the real Batman's technology coming to life in: "BYU engineers create Batman-like device for Air Force competition."

In ROW80 we have a guest blogger each week, and this week Gene Lempp wrote: "Why I Love Being a Writer."

Larry Correia tells us some reasons we should buy his book in: "ADVERTISEMENT: Hard Magic mass market paperback out next week!"  (Trust me this is funny.)

Kirsten de Bouter wrote an awesome post everyone's inner war in: "Most Wars Are Fought In Our Own Minds."

Natalie Hartford shares an embarrassing story and promos a more embarrassing product in: "Road trip life saver."

K. L. Schwengel reminds us of the options we have when we have stepped up the the edge in: "On the Edge."

Team Oyenyi talks about the challenges of learning a new language in: "Two difficult English language sounds."

Asrai, the Maven of Mischief, proves why Twitter can be awesome in: "twitter conversations with Zoe Winters."

I stumbled across Bryan Schmidt on Asrai's blog and I just loved the post so I thought I'd share: "Write Tips: The Power Of Diligence."

Last, but not least– N.K. Jemisin, one of my literary heroines, defends the strength of women everywhere in: "There’s no such thing as a good stereotype."

Oh and if you happen to like some of the writing posts here, check out Inkpageant for all sorts of writerly blogs.  I usually post there, but I've been "lazy" lately.  And after you're done checking them out watch what happens when girls become gamers.

Again I had to go to the drawing board and consider if I am trying to do too much.  I had to come to the decision of whether or not I wanted to participate in NaNoWriMo with a new book this year (Oh I'm still doing it, I just won't have a new book to work on at that point).  I've been trying to rush because I thought I should be done in a year with my novel, but that really isn't the case.  I have so much on my plate that I honestly don't think I could finish my novel that fast.  I need to be realistic and consider having it done by next year for my Senior Project.  It kinda makes me sad to come to that realization, but it is a healthier decision than trying to rush things and fail at reaching my goals consistently.  So if I look like I'm slacking off, I am.  Better to slack off and accomplish more, than to rush and accomplish nothing.
1. Finishing Chapter Two of "Crimes of the Umbramancer by next week.     I am currently a scene into Chapter Two.  The rewrite of this story has been immensely difficult because I am already changing chapters entirely.  My old chapter two and the storyline it had was one of the problems I had before.  Had I finished with it, well I would be another year in doing reconstructive surgery.  I'm thankful I followed my instincts (at long last) and began this rewrite here.  The story will be better and done sooner than it would be otherwise.
     My Japanese culture research for this chapter has been supplemented with research on Hispanic families because the heroine of these chapters is Hispanic.  I'm not sure exactly which culture I want to follow closely, but I'm thinking at the moment I'll work with Mexico and see where I end from there.  I would like to be done with this chapter by the end of next week (honestly there is no reason why I shouldn't be.)  And if I'm lucky, before next Wednesday, I'll be into Chapter Three working on an even harder series of scenes.
2. Write seven thousand words per week. (Between blog & fiction.)     I'm making better progress with this.  With blogging I get about three thousand per week at least.  And if I make certain to finish a chapter a week I'll be closer to six to seven consistently.  And hopefully I can get my buffer up and ahead.  I'm working a day ahead as it is right now. :D
3. Exercise five times a week.     You don't Juice Fast when you are losing energy and have no desire to exercise afterwards.  So I stopped and began with running on Monday.  I went running again on Tuesday.  And later today I plan on running more.  My legs are in pain, but it is necessary pain and I kinda like it.  I'll share more next week.
4. Finishing up my school work from my last semester in College.

     I'm enjoying Pride and Prejudice and I hope to be done with it by next Wednesday.  I should get my short report done by tonight on Life, the Universe, and Everything.  And for my short story I'll be working on that in tandem with Chapter Two.  I'm optimistic about all of that.  Even though the storytelling always gets harder.

5. Spending time everyday with a spiritual source.
     I struggle with this one, but I'm going to work on it.  I find I do my best writing after having done some spiritual study.  But I've gotten lazy and I don't feel like I have a lot of time either.  So instead I think I'm going to focus on spending fifteen minutes on my own in some sort of spiritual study and another fifteen with my family doing some sort of spiritual study.  It will help me in both my writing and the role that I want to play with my family.

That's everything.  Smaller goals I can handle and won't stress myself out with.  There's enough going on with my writing group, work, and my group therapy sessions going on I don't need to try and force more into my life.  And I'm certain that by doing this I'll gain more confidence because when you keep goals you begin to trust yourself.  And ultimately ROW80 is all about us as writers developing self trust.  Oh visit the bloghop to see more people in the journey of self trust.  For trust is the coin by which confidence is purchased.  I'm Jayrod Garrett, the First OG and here's a my question for you:

 

How do you think you can develop more trust in yourself?

The Difference a Teacher Can Make

In another life I work at a Junior High School as a tutor.  Often it is an uplifting job, because I get to work with smart kids who are learning about their own potential and want to really go someplace with their lives.  Sometimes though, I hate being there.  Not because the kids don't care (and sometimes they don't), but because I hear the way the "teachers" are speaking to them in the hall.  As a society often we talk about the disrespect of students towards teachers, when I think we should consider the fact that the students are learning disrespect from their teachers.  Calling your students, "Lazy Lumps" or telling them that you can't believe they can't solve a problem on the board doesn't really inspire them to give their all in class.  Yelling at them like animals isn't a solution either.  But I've seen teachers do both of these things as a tutor.

Mind you I'm not saying teachers are terrible.  I believe that most of them are given tools to educate, test, and show our students the way to success.  But most of them are taught how to deal with the ideal classroom rather than a real classroom and this can frustrate and discourage even the best or most well meaning teacher.  And as I was once told by one of my mentors, "Discipline is the most important thing a teacher must teach."

For example, a few years ago I was in a classroom with a man who told his students how stupid he thought they were when they wouldn't answer his questions when he taught them at the board.  After doing so, he still expected for them to do their work, but most of them just refused.  When I was in his classroom I noticed that there were three types of students in his class.  The ones who refused to care, the ones who refused to let him keep them down, and the ones who were hurt by his callous attitude.  I didn't spend a lot of time with the ones who weren't effected by him, and instead focused on the students who he hurt the most with his comments.  In a few weeks of being in his class they were working hard on every assignment, because for every time he insulted them I reminded them of how smart they were and helped them with the work.  They trusted me and what I said more than what he said and soon enough they were able to answer his questions on the board and he was praising them too.  But had he chosen to discipline them with expectations according to their ability instead of ridiculing them for their silence he could have developed that relationship with them on his own.

The following is a video of one of my online mentors, Mr. Taylor Mali.  He's a poet and a teacher and the message in this video is superb.  Take a few minutes and watch it.  I'll wait.  He's worth it.




I think Mr. Mali would agree that right now we are in a teaching epidemic.  How many of our kids come home from school feeling this way about their teachers?  Too often they have one teacher like Mr. Mali, the others don't seem to care enough, and then there's one who is just awful.  And that awful one makes you never want to send your child to school again, because the awesome teachers can't undo the damage the awful one's do alone.

So if you have children, please be more involved in their education.  Teachers do have tenure, but nothing says that they have to attend a class or a school where they are being hurt.  One of my friends recently kept her daughter from going to a school where her son had problems.  Other friends have gotten their students involved with helping their teachers.  When a student understands the work load a teacher is under, it changes how they participate in their classrooms.

It is time to expect something more of our teachers and the systems that prepare them for the classroom. But this isn't just about teachers in the classroom.  It is also about what we invest in our children's education.  Teachers should be able to expect us to support them.  When that teacher who was calling students stupid, when he had the support of his students his attitude changed.  If we teach our children they need to support teachers and show that through our own example by communicating with them, sharing our concerns, and praising them for what they are doing well we can make a community of teaching that can change the lives of countless students.

I have a pretty solid plan for what I will do if I am not able to make it at first as a novelist.  I have every intention of teaching in a classroom.  And even if I make it as a novelist I'll be finding ways to support teachers in my community.  Because teaching is a communal activity.  You, I, and our teachers all play a part.  And it is my hope that the future will be bright because we all learn how we can.  I'm the First OG, Jayrod Garrett, and I just want to know:

In what ways do you see us being able to better support our teachers?

Early War Post: April 21st- "Lean into the Pain"

Last Sunday I posted my ROW goals for the week, because I wanted to accomplish a lot before my schedule got worse.  I thought that I would need to take up a fourth job to make ends meet for my family, because of our current financial situation.  However thinking about that along with other things going on in my life (lies that I've heard from some family members and the stress of being back from a deployment) took me into one of the worst depressive episodes I've ever had.  I felt the icy fingers of addiction reach into my chest and rip my heart out, and for a brief moment I was deliciously numb as I spent way too much time last week playing video games and isolating myself from my family, from myself, and from my writing.  It literally destroyed an entire week of progress for me in my fiction.

So as I am coming back from Never-Ever land to focus on what I think is most important I thought, I'd share with you a little bit about the issues a person can deal with in depression and why exactly it is real.

My first deployment overseas didn't have me doing what people think of soldiers typically doing.  I'm sure everyone has seen folks who go over and they are breaking down doors, taking down bad guys, and generally kicking butt and taking names.  For me I wasn't on that mission.  I wasn't on a mission to seek out and destroy the enemy.  Instead I served the enemy.  I worked as a guard at a Detainee Camp.  This means those folks the other guys found and brought in, we took care of until their trial dates.  We made sure they didn't hurt each other (which we failed at), we made sure they had food, and we tried to make them as comfortable as possible while we watched them day in and day out.  It might not sound so bad until you realize that if you are trained to seek out and destroy the enemy serving the enemy (who indeed would slit your throat in a heartbeat) does some messed up things to you psychologically.  Most people left this specific duty with terrible cases of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD and it took us a long time to get over it.  I almost lost my marriage as a result of the issues I came home from that deployment with.  And I'm still feel broken even now.  Just I've had a little help to put most of the pieces back in the right place since that time.

When I was there I often indulged in my addiction to games and just zoned out because I had to deal with the pain somehow and there wasn't a lot of other options.  I don't smoke, and I don't drink, and I really didn't want to start up any other addictions so I just did a lot of writing and played my games frequently.

But when I got home was when the emotions came full force.  I went from being an Honors Student who loved being in class to sleeping through all my classes everyday.  I could go to work, because for some reason when I'm helping someone else I can forget all my pain for that brief moment (which explains why I always look for work where I serve others), but school just was too much.  There were days I could barely crawl out of bed because I was so sad.  I went to a therapist who said I was okay because I was still going to work.  They told my wife that I was being responsible because I took care of my obligations.  But I didn't, I didn't give her love, I couldn't care about myself, and worst of all I hated almost everyone I had gone overseas with.  And anyone who knows me knows hate is not a natural emotion to me.

It is the fact that I wasn't willing to deal with the emotions and either slept or played videogames that was sinking me.  I didn't have the coping skills to deal with such volume of painful emotions.  Depression is a disease.  It forces a person who is dealing with horrible things to deal with them in unhealthy ways.  I know some folks who eat when depressed, others who cut themselves, and some who sleep it all away.  When we don't know how to deal with the things the world has given us sometimes we crawl into a hole and hope everybody goes away because we don't know how to deal with their company and our pain.

I've met people in my life who have said that they don't believe in depression.  And there was a time in my life that I didn't understand it very well myself, and I wouldn't have been able to truly deal with my wife's depression very well.  But that was all before I had visited its depths myself.  I just want to say that it is a real illness.  And for some it goes beyond that because they are missing chemicals to balance their bodies properly.  For them it is more than a coping mechanism, it is a struggle to find real joy in life.  They have to fight against this disease to even find their emotions in the first place.  And I don't envy them in that fight, because I know from my own experiences that it is a very difficult fight to deal with.

The only reason I'm coming out of it at the moment is because I heard something in group therapy that really helped me this past week: "Lean into the pain."  By leaning into the pain it causes me to actually recognize that I'm in pain, it causes me to seek out some help from my family, and it causes me to look into the depths of the emotional hole that lies inside of me.  I can't say by any means that I'm whole yet, but I know that as I take more time "leaning into the pain" I'll be better able to deal with the things that life has put before me.

I no longer hate the people I was with back then, but I realize that that period of my life was probably the most pain I've ever been in.  And because I didn't learn earlier appropriate ways to deal with that volume of pain I chose addiction and depression over connection and family.  But I'm learning that now, and that's one of the reasons I do ROW80, because I want to replace my addictions with my writing and make it the lifeblood of my life.  It isn't an easy process, but it is entirely worth it.  Because one day I might not be broken anymore, but through all this I'll be whole.

I don't plan on posting goals with this.  I'll wait till Wednesday to do that.  I got a lot of work to get done though and I'm not going to be wasting any time.  Too much reading, writing, and living to do to allow the pain of my life to tear me apart.  But if you don't see me for a minute, know I'm off fighting for my life, my family, and my writing and that is the most important fight of my life.  As always, I'm Jayrod Garrett the First OG.

My question for you today is: What gets in the way of your goals?

Special ROW80 Message From the First OG

So this probably comes across as ridiculous seeing as I just posted for my goals yesterday.  But I made a commitment to begin doing this again, so it won't be a long post.  But it is going to project what I would like to have happen for each day of the week for what my goals between now and Wednesday.
15th April: Finish another twenty percent of Pride and Prejudice and finish several blog posts today (Monday's, Friday's and hopefully next Monday's also.)  It would account for at least three days writing by itself.
16th April: Rewrite Chapter Two of "Crimes of the Umbramancer" and another twenty percent of Pride and Prejudice.  And I hope to get my "summer job" tomorrow also.  That will make up for another three days of writing.
17th April: Do Wednesday's ROW80 Mashup another twenty percent of Pride and Prejudice and write a paper on why the Satire of Douglas Adams books is awesome.  And if there is time also begin the rewrite of "The Prophecy Engine."  (Lot of homework for that day.)
18th April: Review week and talk about whether or not I've reached these daily goals for the end of my ROW80 week.  (I end weeks for ROW80 on Wednesday not Sunday.  I'm weird sue me.)

That's everything for today.  My wife and I had a long talk yesterday about a lot of things, and it really got me thinking.  I need to focus more on realistic goals and this is my attempt at doing some.  The goals will get smaller, just I also have to cram a lot into this next week.  Tomorrow I'll have a post up on Teaching in America.  This is Jayrod Garrett, the First OG, hoping that you have a wonderful day.

Oh and I'm learning a lot about writing and plotting from Jane.
Ladies, I agree, she's brilliant.

War Post: 14th April's Mashup + Major Goal Revision

I have to apologize for the lateness of this post.  I wanted to get a little homework done this past week and but I've been on a Juice fast because of a movie I watched called "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead."  One of the things the folks who were on the fast talked about was the fact that they had so much more energy.  For me it has been exactly the opposite.  No energy to do anything outside of work has been terrible.  The only reason I've been able to finish as much as I have today is because I took a nap.  Naps are wonderful things that enable us to accomplish so much more with our time.  So I'm going to cover bunch of the links of the past week and then show you how my goals have changed recently.  Lets go!

Raylene opens us up today with some things to say when we are angry in: "What is your favorite non-swearing swear?"

Larry Correia's wife goes off like a rocket about the real choices of women in: "Guest post: Mrs.Correia on the War on Women."

Shila Iris shows us Adrinka symbols in: "Adinkra Symbols."

On ROW80 the linky is up!  Check it out at: "The Linky" or "A Round of Words in Eighty Days."

Todd Bessinger shares a few tips on how to build a great title in: " Whats in a Name: How to Develop Your Title."

Nathan Bransford shares some editing rules in: "Ten Commandments for Editing Someones Work."

Teri Harman goes hoarse in: " Blood to Ink: Your Voice May Hate You, But Your Writing Will Thank You."

Becky Wright of the Standard Examiner shows a local woman's passion for art in: "Ghetto Life Fuels Artist's Imagination."

Finding something funny this week was a challenge.

Clean funny video suggestions are welcome.

This past week has been super hard on my goals and I have had to do some serious reconstruction of them.  Because I've had my head in the clouds about what I can do realistically.  So I went back to the drawing board and made some hard decisions about what I want and what I can do.  

1. Finishing Draft Two of "Crimes of the Umbramancer" by the 30th of April.1. Finishing Chapter Two of "Crimes of the Umbramancer by next week.
Let's be honest.  I haven't really achieved any writing goals for a while.  I have no end of excuses.  We had a second teenager move into our house, we started a new diet, I started a new job, I'm tired, and on and on.  Really its a lot.  Then you consider that my progress ended as soon as I found out that I had a problem in the plot, its super sad.  I lost my momentum, but I still care about the story.  So I'm going to revise my entire method of working through the book.  If it takes me longer than another year to get through this, it is okay.  This book needs to be done right, not fast.

So I started doing research on both Japanese culture (thanks to Eden) and now because of one of our teenagers I'm learning about Hispanic culture also.  I want my brand of fantasy to be multicultural fantasy and I think if I invest the time into making a world that is a blend between what we already have and the fantastic it can be something not only that people can relate with.  That actually accounts for some of the most recent changes to the blog.  I want to focus here more on cultural and political ideas and allow my fiction to be where I play with the ideas I present here.  Hopefully I can accomplish that.
2. Write seven thousand words per week. (Between blog & fiction.)I need this because I haven't been writing nearly enough lately.  I'm going to need this for not only now, but once I begin in school again.  This will keep me honest about accomplishing writing.  I plan on returning to four blog posts a week, but one of those will be the Sunday Micropost in which I hope to just state progress in goals once again.  But this goal isn't just about writing 7000 words a week, but beginning a buffer for my blog.  I don't like being late, but I don't think it is crucial for all my Mashup pieces to be absolutely current.  Instead I want to introduce folks to wonderful blogs and wonderful topics that can help people become better writers or people.
3. Exercise five times a week & continuing the Juice Fast.This did not happen this week.  My wife and I started a Juice Fast, which has been awesome.  (After five days I've lost five pounds!)  But my energy levels to do things have been so low it is not even funny.  It is why I'm super late this week with my blogging.  There literally has not been enough energy to do much of anything.  It makes me a little sad, but I hope to make all that better in the next week.  And get back to exercising then too.
4. Finishing up my school work from my last semester in College.

     I got the query letter done that I needed to do, but I still have a lot of other work for this that I need to get done.  Saturday and Sunday are dedicated to getting through all of Pride and Prejudice.  I must do that.  Cause honestly that is the hardest thing ahead of me.  Everything else I can get done during Finals week.  My boss at work would tell me, use this week to get homework done, cause I've finished hiring for the Student Literary Journal I manage and I told everyone else to focus on their work.  I figure its only fair.

5. Get myself some stories ready to get published somewhere.
    I didn't get the story rewritten this past week, but it will happen this upcoming week.  I'm hoping that I can capture the elements that it was missing before.  And maybe it will be good enough to do something in the Writers of the Future contest.  Realistically I'm competing against so many better writers than me, so I doubt I'll make it.  But what I'm hoping for is that it sharpens my writing skills so that I can make progress toward my goal of publishing soon.

That's really all I have.  It has been a rough week for me exploring sites and getting new content due to my weariness.  Next Wednesday will be better.  (Mostly because of the Buffer.  I hope to have next Wednesday's post mostly ready by Monday.  I'll just be updating goals.)  Thanks for reading my blog and all.  I'm still Jayrod Garrett, the First OG.  Peace.

A Belated Easter Gift

As an addendum to Easter I had planned to write for the Fellow Writers Blog Hop, but they don’t have a topic this month because of the A to Z April Challenge.  So I gave it some thought and organized a few ideas that I think every writer who is successful needs to be able to maintain their success.  I believe there are energies in the world that we do not fully comprehend, and for lack of a better term we will call them spirits.  These spirits can abide within us, within the places we dwell, and especially within the things we create.  As a result I recognize writing as one of the most spiritual activities one can engage in.  For within my words I can express what abides within me, reveal to you the places I have dwelled, and create something of greater beauty and value than myself.

Charity in this case means the highest for of Love.

The scripture to the right lies at the core of my life.  I also see this as the foundation of many of the folks I admire most in the world.  All of the most intelligent, awe inspiring, and lovely human beings live these principles in one form or another.  My examples today are a couple of my cousins.  One of them is a Christian Organist and the other is an Atheist Political Scientist.  I’ve have the opportunity to speak with them both about what they do and who they are, and in those conversations (although I’m sure they are unaware of this) they have inspired me to be a better person.

Hebrew 11:1 reads: “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things not seen.”  Now the Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines it best as a verb meaning: believe or trust.  Now lets be honest, nobody really believes in something they haven’t had an experience with for themselves.  It is the experience or evidence that lights the fire of faith, or to believe or trust in something.  Only the foolish place their faith blindly.

Want to know more?  Click here.

My cousin has chosen to live as a Vegan.  Her decision wasn’t based solely on scientific fact, but rather it was a moral decision.  She wanted to withdraw her support from the meat industry for the way they treat animals.  Simply put she doesn’t trust them.  And how can you blame her?  If you have ever watched the way a cow lives on todays farms and how they are later killed it would make your stomach roil.  And the treatment and conditions for the employees of the meat companies are equally as dehumanizing.  She made the choice to value her humanity above that of eating meat.  I wish I were that principled.

Mind you, if you go out to eat with her, you’ll never know she is a Vegan.  She doesn’t beat you over the head with her values.  She’s not going to tell you how evil the meat industry is.  She chosen to be quietly faithful to her values.  For faith cannot be separated from faithfulness.  And my cousin has taught me a lot about what it really means to have faith.

I ask people all the time what they think hope means.  You might be surprised to hear that most people can’t define hope.  But we use in our everyday speech all the time.  “I hope I get there on time,” or “I hope we can save enough money to go to Disneyland next summer.”  In the dictionary it defines hope as: to expect with confidence.  So when you place your hope in something you don’t just think it might happen, you know it will come to pass.  You don’t have room for doubt, because you know this.  You might not have a timeline, but you certainly know it will happen.

My other cousin is married with a large family already.  He really enjoys doing service in his community.  And thankfully his job is one that allows him to serve frequently.  It brings him joy to be able to help folks in his community, but it keeps him long hours.  Often he works at least sixty hours a week.  He does this not only because he recognizes the way it helps the people around him, but because of the opportunities it gives his family.  He has hope that the service he renders will show his community and children alike how to be good people.  Hope is not only alive in his heart, but the hearts of his family to sacrifice their time with him.  They expect good things to come of his service.

Read this book!

Now in explaining both of these previous principles there is an unmistakeable fabric that ties them together.  Love of another being over oneself.  Love as a noun is defined as: affection for another being rising from kinship or personal ties.  But love as a verb means: to hold dear.  Both of these meanings are seen in the behavior of my cousins.  They have shown they hold the world around themselves more dear than their own lives.  That kind of love is why we celebrate Easter, Christmas, Martin Luther King Jr Day, The Fourth of July and countless other holidays.  We remember those who chose to love us more than themselves from Christ, to Gandhi, to the various soldiers who have fought for freedom worldwide.  And the fact that my cousins have chosen to pattern their lives in such an ennobling way is not lost on me.

But naturally you are probably wondering, what does this have to do with writing?  I’m getting there, be patient.  In order to establish that we need to tie all of these together.  Love is the big picture the quilt that is made by the contributions of faithfulness and the hope of mankind.  But the thread that holds all the patchwork together is something we fail to notice, because we often define it as insignificant.  It is known as humility.

To define humble as “not proud or haughty or not arrogant or assertive” doesn’t define the word.  It tells you what it isn’t, not what it is.  Just like if I tell you that pepper isn’t salty, I haven’t told you really what it is by telling you what it isn’t.  To be humble means that you have inner strength, you aren’t swayed by what society tells you, but can stand on your own.  Humility doesn’t say it is the most awesome thing since sliced bread, instead it serves you the sliced bread.  It doesn’t call attention to itself, it gives attention to others needs.  Just as pride or enmity of man can be called the universal vice, humility can be called the universal virtue.  But we don’t talk about the threads of humility, because this virtue does not call attention to itself.

We as writers need all four of these virtues.  We must be humble and recognize that there are greater writers we must learn from, but that this doesn’t diminish the need for us to share our message with the world.  We stand in the midst of giants who gladly will lift us upon their shoulders.  We must follow in the giants footsteps and be faithful to our craft.  It cannot grow unless we put ourselves at the keyboard and work on telling stories, writing blogs, and expressing ourselves in the written word regularly.  We cannot ever lose hope.  The writers who make it are the ones who make this a lifestyle, they have so much hope in their writing that they are willing to work at it as a second job till they have become successful enough to make it their only job.  And we must love what we do.  We will have to lose sleep or miss out on family time to pursue this dream.  We will miss out on time with friends.  And we do it because we believe through our efforts we will entertain, change, and build a better world for our children.  Even if that’s not why you have chosen to write, that is why I write.

Fellow Writers, I hope that you incorporate these principles into your lives and when you have the time to write that your words may speak to the hearts and minds of your audience.  Happy belated Easter from the First OG, Jayrod Garrett.  And if I may be so bold to ask:

  

What principles guide your writing?

The Culture Blogs: Sex Education, isn't it about time?

As I finished my last blog I said that I was going to blog about Abortion.  Let's just say that was the seed of a larger idea.  This is one of many trees that have grown from that seed.  I'll get to Abortion itself eventually, but we need a foundation by which to have that conversation.  This series is dedicated to building a better foundation for people understanding sex itself.

President Obama said during his last campaign a loaded statement about his daughers: "If they make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby."  This is the kind of fodder that political newscasters rail folks for and here you can see it developed into a meme.  So I went to CNN for a more complete version of what was said.  He followed this statement with: "I don't want them punished with a STD at the age of 16."  Which clearly made this conversation about Sex Education.  But for the sake of our discussion I'd like bring up a single point of the wide array of subjects underneath Sexual Education:  Birth Control.

Politically, Sexual Education is a wedge issue.  In my experience these are issues politicians talk about a lot, and put into place poor standards for how to fix them.  Danielle Deaver's experience is an example of this.  And I'll be honest I don't blame them.  We as American's don't take the time to really learn about most issues in our society.  We tend to hear a few comments that we agree with or disagree with and base our decision on what we want on that.  Because let's face it, most of us don't really want the facts.  The facts can mess with our idea of morality, and too many of us are too shallow in our ideologies to really deal with them (notice I didn't remove myself from that generalization).

My wife a few years ago was in a Human Sexuality class where she was asked to ask a Pharmacist: What is the most effective form of birth control?  The purpose of the question was to see how pharmacists might react to that question.  Well when she went to the pharmacy she wasn't wearing her wedding ring (cause she was going to go exercise after the visit) and she was wearing a Carebears hoodie which made her look like a 19 year old.  And when she approached the pharmacy the pharmacy assistant asked if they could help her.  She asked her question and it caused the assistant take a step back away from her and the counter.  (I can't help, but wonder why?  Maybe it had something to do with her unadorned left hand.)  The assistant then went back to get the Pharmacist and spoke in a low voice to the pharmacist.  The Pharmacist came up, looked at my wife's left hand, and then asked my wife how he could help her.  She asked her question.  Afterwards he began asking her questions that she felt were inappropriate such as: "Why don't you want to have children?"  "How old are you?"& "Does your partner approve of this?"  Because she is awesome, she managed to put up with it long enough for the pharmacist to give her the information.  In her class she was the only person who had a bad experience, but she's not alone in this kind of treatment.  Karen, on prochoice America's Youtube channel shares about her own pharmacy refusal story here.   They are two of thousands who I'm certain have been given the same treatment.  This frightens me.  Not because of their questions, but about the kind of power a Pharmacist (who is a medical professional and therefore required by law to be impartial) has.  Because if either one of them came in as a rape victim and asked for the morning after pill, there is a high likelihood that either the Pharmacist would have refused or they would have walked out because of the emotional stress the Pharmacist would be putting them through.  Neither one of those answers are acceptable.

Birth Control takes various different forms from pills, to condoms, to even implants to prevent pregnancy.  It isn't something folks use just because they don't want a baby, it is used for far more purposes than that.  The morning after pill is crucial for victims of rape, because I cannot see anything more traumatic than giving birth to the child of your rapist.  Even if she puts the child up for adoption she will always wonder about that child and that could get in the way of her healing.  The morning after pill prevents a impregnation in several ways (all of which can be found at goaskalice.com).  Two of which are: Stopping the woman's overies from releasing eggs (ovulation), and making the uterine lining inhospitable to a fertilized egg.  Now contrary to popular belief this is not abortion because there will not be a pregnancy at all if the zygote or blastocyst doesn't attach to either the fallopian tube (which you don't want to happen under any circumstances) or the uterine wall.  This saves a rape victim from having to deal with birthing a possible child from her attacker.

Ever heard of Polycytic Ovary Syndrome?  This is one of the most common female endocrine disorders  which can cause anovulation, irregular menstration, amenorrhea, and polycystic ovaries.  And one of the things they prescribe to help with it is Birth Control Pills.

And lets face it, what if a woman does want to use birth control so that she can have sexual intercourse?  Does this make her a slut?  No.  Basing this on a moral judgment is unfair because all of us have different moral backgrounds.  We don't have a right to judge a woman who has chosen to be responsible about when she has children.  The funny thing about the responsible woman is she has been made a rarity, because receiving an education to be responsible is difficult.  In my experience the same folks who would judge the woman for her actions, are the same who will not give their children an adequate sexual education.  Instead many of them speak of sex as dirty, sinful, and ugly.  Because we don't support sexual education, we unwittingly support the entertainment media that sells kids sexual glamorization.

If we want a nation where birth control is used responsibly we have to give our citizens the right to learn about it.  If parents won't open their mouths, then we need it in our schools and we need professionals who are qualified to teach it without an inflection of their own moral system.  I was in college before I had adequate education concerning sex to help my understanding.  Is it just me, or does that strike you as too late?

I'm deliberately avoiding current controversies to institute deeper thought, because I know as well as you do sometimes we think on an emotional basis as opposed to a logical one.  I hope that this has expanded your understanding concerning birth control.  And I welcome your opinions.  Feel free to add to these thoughts in a way that doesn't tear down what anyone else thinks or believes.  I'm Jayrod Garrett, the First OG and here's a departing question for you:

Do you want your children to be punished by children or

Recognize them for the gift that they really are?

War Post: April 5th, Mashup, & the IWSG

Howdy Howdy folks!  Welcome to another Mashup on the OG's blog.  Now mind you theres a lot in today's post so if I happen to jump around a bit understand that's because I try to accomplish a lot in a Mashup & IWSG day.  But I'll be short on the Mashup and long on the IWSG part.

On Letters of Note they post a letter from Kurt Vonnegut which is truly the real thing in: "I am very real."

Robinson Wells, an up and coming Utah writer (yes, I have all sorts of love for Utah Writers) shares with us some concerns in: "Ranty Ranty Rant-Face."

Susan Donaldson James shares with us one family's agony in dealing with legislation concerning Abortion in: "Danielle Deaver denied Abortion Even as Uterus Crushed Fetus." (More on this on Friday.)

Robyn Oyeniyi shares a touch of her memories in: "So it is Easter and school holidays."

Carol C. Rzadkiewicz shows us an awesome technique to use to make our writing better in: "Improve Writing Skills by Using Sentence Parallelism."

The Wordslinger tells us what not to do in naming children in: "Stop in the Name of... Terrible Baby Names."  (Obviously this woman is doing something right, study her to build a better blog.)

Jael McHenry turns oft heard advice on its head in: "Flip the Script: Write What You Don't Know."

Natalie Hartford shares a concept I'm too familiar with: "Urban Word Wednesday: Vacationitis."

Rainy Kaye shares a breath of fresh air with me in: "The Hunger Games, Rue, and a Meme in the Making."

As stated a short Mashup.  So you can watch this Ted Presentation.

Note: I'm not an Introvert, but I recognize this as a problem in our society also.

Let's be honest here.  I can cover my goals for the week in a few sentences and get on to my bit for the Insecure Writers Support Group more quickly.  


1. Finishing Draft Two of "Crimes of the Umbramancer" by the 30th of April.I got a great review back on a chapter of Crimes this week.  And I'm hopefully during the next 48 hours going to knock out about six thousand words of rewrite.  I'm learning a lot about my story as I start again, there was a flaw in what I wrote and I can't continue until I fix that flaw.  So the draft is moving along.  (Needs to move faster to make the end month goal though, but once Spring Semester is over I'll make more progress.)2. Exercise five times a week.I'm haven't gotten as much exercise as I was hoping this week, but I did have a great work out today and I'm looking forward to a great one tomorrow.  And I'm excited about my walk this Friday with my wife.  It is a great time to talk and just unwind.3. Finishing up my school work from my last semester in College.

     This weekend I'll be rewriting an older story and reading Pride and Prejudice.  It should be an interesting weekend.  But I got a query letter to also get done this weekend.  I'm stacking it high so I can get it all in by the end of the term.  I need to pass this class.
4. Get myself some stories ready to get published somewhere.
     The story I'm rewriting is one I plan on submitting to a few contests this year as well as sending it to the Writers of the Future Contest.  We'll see exactly how it goes when I do it.  I'm pretty excited.

So we are through with my goals and I can get to what I want to really talk about.  An insecurity.  This past weekend I had a really long talk with some of my family (the folks in Utah who are family are those I've adopted, because I didn't have one of my own) about my identity.  For the longest time I've always tried to hide by being extra religious a part of me that scared me.

I went through a lot of emotional abuse growing up, and while I don't sit here and blame my Mom for it.  I don't have much of a relationship with her either because there is a great deal of toxicity there that I'm not able to deal with well.  Between the darkness that I think was always mine and the darkness etched upon my soul through the abuse I find myself wondering who I am frequently.

And as I read I am not a Serial Killer and A Game of Thrones I've begun to think who I am is much more complex than I thought before.  That like the color of my skin the darkness that is within me isn't a bad thing, but instead a misunderstood thing.  Darkness isn't evil, because I can use my fingers to feel what it is, and my feelings don't tell me its bad, instead they tell me that its important.  This isn't to say that I plan on going out and killing anybody or using the F-bomb at every opportunity, but instead to come to grips with the fact that who I am, is much larger than who I've allowed myself to be.

An example of this can be seen in how I approach schoolwork.  I don't set aside time for schoolwork.  Instead I do it when I feel like doing it.  Sometimes that is right after I get it.  Other times it is right before the assignment is due.  As a whole it usually is done in such a way that I can fit whatever else is going on in my life around school.  And at one time I thought that it made me less of a person to be all about getting the work done one day and the next laissezfaire about when it got done.  (Did I mention I'm an A to B student most of the time?)

I'm the same way with pretty much how I approach life as a whole.  I'm either one extreme or the other.  I'm either full of energy or nearly falling asleep.  I'm either completely prepared or completely unprepared.  Super loud or completely quiet.  Terribly busy or crazy bored.  And I thought something was wrong with me because I was always like that.  Until one day someone said to me, "I think you are the most balanced person I've ever met."

That blew me away.  But it made sense.  Because while my personality is made up of extremes my views of the world are not.  I tend to have liberal values, but I temper them with a sense of what is right and wrong.  And while I might not agree with others I have been successful in sharing my thoughts in the manner of a philosopher that rather than wanting you to agree with him, wants you just to think a little deeper about the problem at hand.

I tend to think I'm a little like Mulan, who in order to find herself had to become someone that nobody, including herself, believed that she could become.  I'm Jayrod the writer, but there is something more that I don't think I'm really aware of yet.  But only as I continue writing, will I get there.  And that journey both thrills and scares me.

Well, I realize all the bits of the post today were short, but it has been a crazy week for me.  I will be back on Friday to discuss with you a subject that is near and dear to my heart: Abortion.  Yeah, I wasn't going to talk about it now, but I figure after seeing that video earlier that I should share my opinions and perhaps open up some minds by the sharing.  Until then I'm Jayrod Garrett, the First OG.

Do you ever get afraid that who you are is going to get in the way of who you want to be?