Thursday, February 16, 2012

The Culture Blogs: My Religion and Conversion

A while ago a good friend of mine Amber Mae, posted on her blog about her conversion story to becoming a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  In this particular season of trying to learn about our political candidates and what they stand for; I find it important not only for the purposes of using it in fiction to share my conversion story here, but also to clarify the facts about what I believe as a member of the LDS Church.

My Mom and I came out to Utah because of family strife caused by her own conversion to the church.  It was originally supposed to be a vacation, but after almost twenty eight years I think it would be fair to say we settled here.  Now Utah is a unique place for a black mormon family to live for several reasons.  Paramount among them is the fact that for most of my life I've felt like LDS community didn't accept me fully because I was black, and that the blacks didn't accept me because I'm LDS.  To illustrate this point I'll share a story.

Shortly after my mother and I arrived in the State we moved up to my hometown of Ogden.  (I've lived in Ogden off and on for about twenty seven years now.)  In the one of the first wards (another word for congregation) we'd joined my Mother was told by the Bishop of the ward to not bring me back to Primary (our children's Sunday School Program), because the teachers were unable to teach me.  Now I realize back at that age I might be a little hyperactive, but so were most of the other kids.  It wasn't because I was active, but because I was black.  Later on in another ward I was called nigger by the same kids who I was going to church with on a regular basis.  And mind you seven, eight, and nine year olds don't know that word, unless their parents teach them, but much of that story will be saved for when I talk about hypocrisy in religion.

So you can entirely understand when I say that as a child my faith in the church was shaken.  I say my faith in the Church because I've always had a relationship with God.  I know he lives just as well as I know I breathe.  One of the times he revealed his presence to me was when I was baptized into the Church.  Now I went a very non-traditional method of joining the church even though my mother was a member.  She wanted me to choose this for myself so at the age of eight years old, which in our religion is known as the the age of accountability, so I listened to the discussions from the missionaries and my mother took me visiting to different churches.  I still to this day remember some of the church meetings and have images of missionaries from when I was small (we totally should have taken pictures).  And I prayed about it.  I chose to be a Saint (what members of LDS church are called), because I thought this is what God wanted for me to do.

That isn't what solidified my faith however.  It was something my Mom said about God speaking to me through the wind, and that when it blew that meant he was proud of me.  Mind you there is nothing in the scriptures about this, but I believed my Mom.  On the day that I was baptized the wind was blowing really hard and I felt in my heart a warm feeling that I remembered the missionaries telling me was one of the ways that God would speak to me.  Since that day the zephyrs of the desert and the cold wind of courage have been my companions at times when I needed to know God was there.  And while not always the same warmth it has now grown to encompass greater courage, more determination, and perhaps best of all simply the knowledge that what I'm doing at that point in my life is right.

You might say that at eight I was too young to know.  You are entitled to that.  You might say that because I've had racism problems in the church, I know people who have told their bishops they have been raped and the church has done nothing, or because of controversial issues within the origins of the church that it isn't true.  My response to that is: Faith isn't faith if there isn't substantial enough doubt to test it.  My faith has gone through the fire and has been purified to be made knowledge.  I know a lot more about God and his love and his plan for me, than I did when I was eight.  I know that God lives; That Jesus was resurrected and lives that I might live with him again; and that there is a prophet on the earth today.  All of those things came from the commitment to serve God at eight.

What about you?  Are you a Non-denominational Christian?  Are you Hindu or a Buddhist?  Maybe you are an Atheist.  Regardless of what you have chosen to be, I'd like to hear about it.  What caused you to make those choose that belief system?  I am not here to put down what you believe, or what you don't believe.  But if we are to engage in building cultures in our writing we have to look at what one another beliefs with respect.  Because in the fiction, we will have to challenge the beliefs of our characters with solid reasoning from other faiths and ideologies.  But here we can recognize one another as human beings who are trying to find their way to happiness.

Because I know that sometimes it can be scary to follow or comment on a blog, I thought it would be appropriate to share my gratitude with my readers by offering to you a book that I am currently reading.  It is the "Hundred Thousand Kingdoms" by N.K. Jemisin.  I've really enjoyed what I've read thus far.  A black female protagonist in a first person narrative in a fantasy world is unheard of, but Nora K. Jemisin has made a beautiful and believable tale that I highly recommend.  So from now til the end of this month, if you comment on my blog I'll put your name into a hat to receive during March one of three copies of the book I plan on sending out.  Think of it as my way of saying thank you for conversing with me.

If you have any questions about being LDS, I am a pretty solid source to ask, because I am an active member of my faith.  I would love to hear yiu share about your own experiences with faith and your own ideologies, but I will not permit my blog to become a place to tear down other religions.  "And now abideth Faith, Hope, and Charity, and the greatest of these is Charity, (1 Cor 12:13)" and because charity or love is a power I believe we can all recognize that we believe in, please share your feelings with love and respect towards all others who might read.  That being said, I love all of you and hope to hear plenty from you in the weeks to come.  Peace!

8 comments:

  1. Jayrod, I'm sorry you experienced racism in the LDS church. I'm so glad that you were able to overcome the cruel treatment and look at the church based on its doctrine and what you felt rather than how you were treated. As you know, I too am LDS and experienced some bullying at church - but it only served to strengthen my faith. Sometimes it is in trial that we truly find God.

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    1. I agree Amber. When you look at the scriptures you notice a pattern, all those who have great faith also have had great trials to test that faith and refine it. Pure faith comes from a life wrought with trials that drive you to your knees, in anguish, in tears, and in prayer.

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  2. I really enjoyed this post, not just for your honesty but also for your observation that our own characters need similar reasons or experiences for their own beliefs.

    Too easy to just make a list of motivations that we ascribe to our characters instead of thinking about their "conversion stories."

    Also, I've heard good things about The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, but never went out of my way to read it. I'm pretty sure it was Hugo-nominated last year.

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    1. Yeah, actually the conversion story for my MC in my current WIP, is one of the reasons I wrote this. He's had his faith tested a great deal.

      The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms was nominated for a Nebula for 2010, a Hugo for 2011, and the World Fantasy Award for 2011. Mind you it is the first novel Nora Jemisin has published. She is a marvelous writer. :D

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  3. I was raised in fundamentalist Christian religions, and I am now a Methodist. I love the Methodist church because it does not preach a doctrine, but rather a method of growing closer to God and growing in faith. This suits me, as I believe there are many paths to God, and that God is bigger than any one religion.

    For the purposes of social media, I say my religion is Baseball. I find that the idealistic concepts of Baseball embody the best parts of all religions. It is forward looking and optimistic, and both spectators and participants have a deep awareness that the Game will always bigger than we are and beyond our capacity for understanding. Therefore, anything is possible.

    You've had an interesting path, Jayrod. Glad you found something that works for you.

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    1. You are right Piper, there are many paths to God. The most important thing is to have the relationship present. I believe if the relationship is there he'll lead you to him. This is why I think it is important to share about religion in our fiction. If we believe there is more than one path to God, or that it is important to be a good person despite religion, our fiction must also portray that. I think as writers we are strongest when we stand by our convictions.
      Thanks for sharing Piper, you've given me a world to think about in the game of baseball.

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  4. Jayrod this is beautiful. I dont know how much of my experiences about the church I have shared with you, more with Jenny I do believe, but your words touched me dearly. The church isn't the gospel that I know is true. I do believe it is the only church to have the truths of God, but as in the times of the Nephites, wickedness can warp, challenge and even destroy the people of the church, it is only the truth that endures. I know there are periods of time where the gospel wasn't on the Earth, simply because the "church", that is to say the people of the church, ruined the true church of Christ. I am glad for individual accountability, because our relationship with God will be judged on our own level of accountability and if we did what God personally told us to do. I love you dear friend, thank you for this post.

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    1. I'm glad that my testimony rings true. And more that is still has power to touch the heart of a friend. It was my pleasure to write this, Valerie. Thank you.

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