Religion Interviews #1: A Modern Saint

This picture sits in our living room.

Good day folks!  Today I have a guest on my blog.  It is my wife, Jenny Garrett.  I wanted to give folks an unbiased view of Mormonism from someone who would understand what it means to have lived as a different denomination.  My wife belonged to the Episcopal Church as she was growing up and made a choice during her teen years to become a Latter Day Saint (Hence the name of this blog).  For those of you not of our faith, this is one view of how one balances faith with what they know.  I do this same thing differently, however I would like to believe that I am as unorthodox in my beliefs as my wife.  You will meet various Mormons who see things slightly different as in any church, but the teachings through the church itself are the same.  For the orthodox saints who read this, there are no apologies made here for how my wife has chosen to live.  Not from her or from myself.  God has accepted us as we are, and we expect any God fearing man or woman to do the same.  To quote my wife, "We are all products of our life’s experiences and I have settled into my faith and beliefs because of things that have happened in my life, the people I have known, and the trials that the Lord has helped me through."  And within our own doctrine it states:  “We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men (including other Mormons!) the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may"(Article of Faith 11).  So without further ado, my first question.

 #1 I've heard that members of the LDS faith are not Christian, is that true?

It depends on how you define the term “Christian.” If by Christian you mean people who believe that Jesus Christ is an actual man, the son of God, who lived a sinless life, ministered to the sick, preached Gods word to the masses, was crucified, and then arose from the dead, and that his death atoned for the sins of mankind - then yes, we are indeed Christians. But if you define Christianity as having a belief in the holy trinity and a testimony of the Nicene Creed and the Apostles Creed, then no, we are not Christians in that sense.

The majority of Christian tradition believes that God came down to Earth in mortal form, and that we called him Jesus Christ. For example, my Grandfather literally believed that Jesus Christ was God in a mans body. I grew up in the Episcopal Church and they taught that Jesus was God; God the son. As a child I found that confusing because I would read scriptures about how Jesus would pray, and I couldn’t understand who he was praying to if he was God.

Us LDS folk believe that God is a separate entity from Jesus Christ, even though they are one in purpose. We are what is called “Unitarianism” as opposed to the Christian tradition of “Trinitarianism.” We are one of several religions under the umbrella of Christianity who believe this way. Some of the others are the Jehovahs Witnesses and the Unitarian Universalists - both are great churches full of great people, we are in good company. I have found that the Nicene Creed is vague enough that it fits the spectrum of the LDS belief system, except where Jesus Christ is described as “being of one substance with the Father” and the declaration about believing in the “one holy Catholic and apostolic Church” However, our LDS prophets have clearly stated that we do not believe in the traditional Christian creeds.

I feel like a Christian. I read the New Testament, study the parables that Jesus Christ taught, try my best (fail though I do) to apply those teachings to my own life, I pray to God in the name of Jesus Christ, follow the commandments, and on Christmas and Easter I ponder the birth and resurrection of Christ first and foremost before I indulge in all the super fun pagan rituals that we all do, like putting trees in our house and hiding eggs in the yard. I call myself a Christian, and if anybody else says that I am not, well, it’s not really up to them to decide what I am.

#2 What is it about Joseph Smith? Is he a prophet or some nut job?

Why can’t he be both? The Lord often calls unqualified men and women to do his work, does he not? From the LDS bible dictionary, a prophet is in a general sense anyone who has a testimony of Jesus Christ by the Holy Ghost. So, many people can be prophets. The question is rather, is he the prophet, seer and revelator he claimed to be?

Joseph Smith restored things to the Earth that were missing. The end result is the church we have today, which is wholesome and good, and has blessed many lives. We know Jesus Christ better, we have the most beautiful music, we have the largest Women’s organization on the planet, we have the tranquility of our temples. After a disaster, the Mormons are often there helping before the Red Cross even gets there. We give humanitarian aid to many impoverished countries. We have the power to do so much good.

But Joseph Smith did some pretty outlandish things in his day, and we often overlook them because they aren’t considered faith building. We sugarcoat many things about Joseph Smiths life. For example, much of the Book of Mormon was translated by Joseph Smith covering his face with a hat and seeing the words on a seer stone inside the hat. Now, if that’s the way it was done, and it was directed by the Lord to be done that way, why then do we hang paintings like the one above in our homes?

Why do we make him out to be so dang handsome?
  He looks like this in photos, yet looks like Adonis
in the paintings. 

Because it seems foreign to us, and maybe even a little weird, how it was really done. Then we make movies about the life of Joseph Smith and don’t include the “hat thing” at all. Then we don’t include the fact that he married so many women, some who were teenage girls, and some who were already married to other men. He was a mayor, started his own militia, and planned to run for president. That’s pretty lofty! We sweep these undesirable things under the rug in an effort to keep people from doubting, but then they find out, feel deceived, and their whole faith falls apart.

I have heard some people say “If Jesus tried to attend sacrament meeting, we wouldn’t let him in because he has a beard, long hair, sandals, and isn’t wearing a suit.” It’s a cute little idea, and it tries to point out that we are sticklers for a tidy church appearance. But I submit this thought to you: If Joseph Smith was a member today, he would likely be excommunicated for his behavior.

Why can’t we have this? Joseph Smith: an imperfect man who was also a prophet of God. We sometimes put too much of our faith in Joseph Smith, when we should be putting it in Jesus Christ, and I think Joseph Smith might agree with me on that. It’s ok that he was not a perfect man. At least, I’m ok with it.

#3 I couldn't help but notice that your husband is black, has that ever caused you any grief during your time in the church?

Within the church, no. The day we were sealed for time and eternity, we were treated like royalty inside the temple. All of the workers there in Manti didn’t seem to care a speck that our skin colors were different. Might be a little surprising considering they were older, white, rural Mormons, but they were all wonderful to us.

The Garrett's outside the Manti Temple in Utah

Before we got married, I received council from my Bishop in New Hampshire. He is Chinese and his wife of a few decades is white, so he knew a thing or two about interracial marriage.

However in the culture of Utah, which is sometimes confused with the dictates of the church, because the two are so enmeshed, I have gotten some dirty looks from people, and confused looks from little children. An uninformed teenager was surprised that interracial marriages happened in the temple. Nothing too bad though. I think the only hurtful things have been said from our actual family, the strangers seem pretty accepting. It bothers people much more that I have tattoos. Now that has been my biggest grief!

#4 Do you have a conversion story and would you be so kind as to share it with us?

Yes, I do have a conversion story. Everyone should! The people who are born into the church should become converted at some point just like us converts. I was baptized in 2000. It was a difficult age to join the church. I was 18 and had finished school, so too old for young women’s. All the sisters in Relief Society were at least 30, the closest institute class was 50 minutes away and the singles ward was just as far.

St. Johns Episcopal Church

As previously mentioned, I was raised Episcopal. I was baptized as an infant, and my Grandmother saw to it that I was fairly active in the church. I received my first communion (around age 8) after taking a few weeks of confirmation classes. I was an acolyte (altar girl) for years and sang in the Jr. Choir. In the summers of my childhood I would attend a Lutheran church with my other Grandmother.

I received several years of sunday school education. I still love the Episcopal Church, very much. I appreciate how progressive they are. We have attended midnight mass on Christmas Eve for the last 3 years because it brings back such fond memories for me, it’s actually my favorite part of Christmas. But as I became a teenager I lost interest in going to church.

When I was 16 years old, something happened in our family that shook me to my core. My Uncle, an amazing man, loving and kind and very good to me, who was serving in the Peace Corps, was shot and killed in a robbery - he was only 32. I never knew anyone who had died, let alone be murdered. I was inconsolable, just devastated. I went through some of the stages of grief, denial at first. When it finally hit me I just sobbed for days, sobbed like a person with no hope. And I was angry. And I was confused. I started to turn to religion to succor the immense pain. My belief system didn’t really have the answers I was looking for. I wanted to know if my Uncle still existed somewhere, somehow. Would I ever see him again?

I began to study religion, anything I could get my hands on. And this was in the days before internet research, I was reading honest to goodness books made out of paper. I studied Catholicism, Judaism, Shinto, Islam, Zoroastrianism, Buddhism, you name it. I started getting called “Jesus Freak” at school. When I slowed down with the partying I had been doing, a lot of my friends lost interest in me. About 18 months into my search for religion, I picked up a book of Mormon for the first time. It was my mothers book. She and my Grandmother had joined the church a few years before, but fell away. When they joined, I wanted no part of it! I opened up the book, and the first few pages were of men signing their names that the book was true. I had never seen a book like that before. I literally called the LDS missionaries who were in the phonebook under ‘LDS missionaries’ and I said “My name is Jennifer and I want to get baptized” and they were like “Who is this really?” I listened to the discussions, quit smoking, and took the plunge! The LDS church had the answers for all my burning questions.

Some things I remember about my baptism were that my best friend showed up late and missed it, and also a friend of mine, Eugene, who I had not seen in a long time showed up, and he was a member of the church and I never knew. And my dear old friend Ben showed up too. We sang “I Stand All Amazed” because it was my Grandmas favorite hymn from when she was a member, and my friend Sariah gave a short talk. I felt so loved and welcomed by the members, a love that I don’t think I had ever felt before. A love that I feel is sometimes lacking by some of the wards I have belonged to in Utah.

My Mom was there for me, and my cousin Jan was very supportive. My Grandma was thrilled even though she had left the church. She took me to get my first set of LDS scriptures, which are the ones that I still use. Some of my family members were very upset with me, some thought it was a big joke and I lost Susan, one of my best friends. The last thing she said to me was that I was a “self righteous bitch.” And I get it, I understand it now. I was that freshly baptized overzealous teenager, and I was trying to change her.

Shortly after my baptism, I traveled to Washington DC to do baptisms for the dead. It was then that I fell in love with LDS temples and the tranquility inside. It has been 12 years now, my faith has changed, grown and evolved and I choose to stay in the LDS church so that people like me can bring about change. If all the liberals, democrats, intellectuals, and free thinkers leave the church, how will it ever change? The changes I’d like to see are more equality for women, more acceptance and love for our LGBT brothers and sisters, and more love and support for those struggling with addiction.

#5 Are you going to vote for Mitt Romney, cause he's Mormon? I've heard a lot of Mormons plan on doing that.

The last thing I would do is vote for someone simply because they belonged to my church. Being LDS does not ensure that someone is a moral person, nor does it promise that someone is competent enough to run a country. When I first heard of Mitt Romney, in the early 2000’s, I remember thinking that a Mormon politician was an oxymoron. That being said, I believe he is educated enough, experienced enough, and competent enough to run the country. But he won’t run the United States the way that I think is right and moral, which is the main reason I will not be voting for him.

I lived in Massachusetts while he was the governor. If he was still “that guy” the Romney of 2003 or 2004, I might vote for him. But he has changed considerably. The man who instituted the Massachusetts health care insurance reform law, is now against “Obama Care.” He once supported stem cell research, and now he no longer does. He once supported a woman’s right to chose, specifically because a close friend of his died from an illegal abortion - but he has abandoned that also and is now pro-life. I won't stand behind a man who changes his core beliefs to suit his career goals.

#6 How do you reconcile the faith of your childhood and the faith of your adulthood?

The faith of my childhood was based on the faith of the adults in my life. My family was Episcopal and so, that is what I believed. But there comes a time in everyones life when you have to decide for your self what you believe and what feels right to you, and not base your faith on what somebody else has decided is right. In the LDS church, we call it “piggybacking on your parent's testimony.” Even when our prophets speak, they tell us to pray about it and learn for ourselves, through the holy spirit, if what they say is true. I think this is an important step to take because not every word that rolls off the tongue of a church leader is meant for every member of the church. Sometimes the faith journey that we must take gets confusing because we want to please our friends and family. We might want to please them even more than we want to find which path we should travel. As William Shakespeare penned, "Above all: to thine own self be true."

After moving to Utah, something I saw for the first time was children getting up during testimony meeting with their moms behind them. I love seeing children getting up and speaking, but here in Utah their mothers whisper into their ear what to say. They tell them to say that the church is true, that they know Joseph Smith was a prophet of God. How does this little child know that? They're not even clear on if Santa Claus is true, or if a flying woman actually removes teeth from under their pillows in exchange for cash. And how will they ever know that for themselves if you have been telling them to say it since they could walk? I would much rather have the children go up there and say what they actually feel and believe.

One of the sweetest testimonies I have ever heard was from a little girl who lost her pet rat and she prayed and prayed until she found it. She wanted to tell everyone listening that day, that Heavenly Father answers prayers and cares about rats.

*    *    *

Thanks Jenny.  For your thoughts and your words today.  I feel privileged to be able to share them with my audience.  And I hope that all of you find something in what she has shared to help you better understand our religion.  This is Jayrod and Jenny Garrett, the OG's, and we hope you've enjoyed today's blog.  If you have any questions that you would like to ask us, please comment below and we'll respond to them as soon as we can.  Thanks so much!

Black, White, and Rainbow

Yet it often is.  From the time I was a child, I was taught to think in terms of black and white.  To steal was a sin, to lie was a sin, and to kill was a sin.  Yet as an adult I learned:

• That stealing was okay as long as it was ideas (All collegiate essays require you to cite your source material).
• That lying was okay to preserve peoples feelings (Does this dress make me look fat?  Answer yes, and watch what happens).
• And killing was fine when the government mandated it (How many have died due to the death penalty or war?).

Perhaps we teach children in black and white, because its easier, but unfortunately too many of those black and white ideas follow us into adulthood.  And we begin basing the world around the black and white fallacy.

Take a step back and think about this as if you were a child: Jimmy takes Timmy's lunch money.  Some of us might teach our children Jimmy is bad because he takes Timmy's lunch money.  As a child this is as far as we will take the logic.  Truth is that Jimmy takes Timmy's lunch money because his Dad spends all their money gambling.  And when Dad spends the money Jimmy's Mom gets drunk and hits him.  So he's only doing what he's being taught at home.  So where is Jimmy spending the money?  To buy something for dinner before he gets home, because if he comes home with money, it will be taken.  Both Jimmy and Timmy in this case are being taught to think in terms of black and white.  Timmy is learning stealing is wrong and that it isn't right for the strong to pick on the weak.  Jimmy has been trained that life is about strength, and the strong take what they can to survive. 

This kind of thinking is called black or white fallacy or a false dichotomy.  Where two alternative states are presented as the only possibilities, when in fact more possibilities exist.  And lots of people suffer from it from those who suffer from Borderline Personality to a person dealing with Depression.  In politics you can watch this kind of thinking taking place on a national scale and Americans rush to take sides.  It even invade our speech when we think about ethnicity. White is associated with being cultured and educated.  When a hispanic or a black man are either they are called white.  Violence, drugs, and gangs are all associated with young hispanic or black men.  Its a little frightening when you really think about it.

The commonly accepted view seems to tilt towards white, grey, and black thinking.  Because most situations are not black or white and rather are someplace in between.  Like the question of whether we should raise taxes for millionaires.  Some folks feel that when someone earns their keep they should be able to use it as they wish.  Others feel that if they have excess they should give it away to those who have less.  This question isn't that simple though, because there are millionaires who give to charity yearly for the purposes of the tax breaks.  So they are already supporting those with less.  Should they be required to give even more?  Bill Gates says yes.  Others say no.  This isn't a yes or no question, but rather one that doesn't lend itself to any easy answers.  But too often we want easy answers.

And even among those who think in terms of white, grey, and black it tends to be difficult.  A pregnant teen faces how people really think too often.  She just wanted to prove to her boyfriend she loved him.  Does that make her bad?  And if she isn't bad, why does her father call her a slut and refuse to help her?  Why does the boy tell her she meant nothing to him and he won't support the child?  Why do the same people who fight against her aborting the child also fight the agencies that want to help her keep the child?  And if she chooses to keep the child why won't anyone employ her?  Some Christians will tell her that her child will be born in sin without a father.  Other people will tell her she's a bad Mom, because she's not doing enough to find a way to support her child.  And all this while she has no emotional support, no financial support, or friends to help her out.  She has been painted black and it was all from a few hours of fun.  But is that the truth?  Is that right?  And in all this have any of these people actually thought about the child in her womb?  Of course you have, you thought: Hey put the child up for adoption!  Which would be a viable option out of a lot of the troubles she's facing, but at this point she might not have the support to even make that choice.  And that's a scary part of the society we live in. 

Perhaps what is most troubling when we carry this white, black , and grey thinking into religion.  There are Christians out there who think that the only way to God is through Christianity.  Muslims that believe the only law is Sharia Law.  And Jews who believe both are terribly misguided.  But where does that leave the Taoist, the Buddhist, and the Atheist?  Are they wicked because they believe differently?  I think these are questions that the grey area doesn't adequately cover.  We should have a means of being able to recognize each other for who we are, separate the choices a person has made from that, and work to make the lives for all human life better.  And I think that particular thought process is best compared to a prism.

The white light that is reality comes into the prism.  And for some of us what we perceive as one color of the spectrum another person will see differently, however we are able to keep in mind that it all comes from the same ultimate source.  Some folks may say that source is God.  Others science.  I call it life.  And with life I can paint a picture of stunning beauty or terrible cruelty.

I had a teacher who was fond of saying, "There is only one race: The Human Race."  I agree with him.  We don't live in a black and white world.  And what is grey to you might be black to another person.  But when we see each other as critical parts of a whole, the black and white thinking perishes and we begin thinking of our families, our communities, and our world in different ways.  I love every color of the spectrum, and there is a need for each of us.  The Jimmys and Timmys and unwed teens alike.  We are all going to make mistakes according to the culture we live in and the rules it binds us by, but we do not have to see the world in black, white, and grey.  It is full of color, both in morality and ethnicity.

Whew!  That was a challenging one.  Thanks for hanging with me to the end.  On Wednesday I'll tackle both goals and the IWSG.  I'm Jayrod Garrett, the First OG and I just want to know:

Which do you prefer?  Black, White, and Grey or The Color Spectrum?

A Belated Easter Gift

As an addendum to Easter I had planned to write for the Fellow Writers Blog Hop, but they don’t have a topic this month because of the A to Z April Challenge.  So I gave it some thought and organized a few ideas that I think every writer who is successful needs to be able to maintain their success.  I believe there are energies in the world that we do not fully comprehend, and for lack of a better term we will call them spirits.  These spirits can abide within us, within the places we dwell, and especially within the things we create.  As a result I recognize writing as one of the most spiritual activities one can engage in.  For within my words I can express what abides within me, reveal to you the places I have dwelled, and create something of greater beauty and value than myself.

Charity in this case means the highest for of Love.

The scripture to the right lies at the core of my life.  I also see this as the foundation of many of the folks I admire most in the world.  All of the most intelligent, awe inspiring, and lovely human beings live these principles in one form or another.  My examples today are a couple of my cousins.  One of them is a Christian Organist and the other is an Atheist Political Scientist.  I’ve have the opportunity to speak with them both about what they do and who they are, and in those conversations (although I’m sure they are unaware of this) they have inspired me to be a better person.

Hebrew 11:1 reads: “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for; the evidence of things not seen.”  Now the Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines it best as a verb meaning: believe or trust.  Now lets be honest, nobody really believes in something they haven’t had an experience with for themselves.  It is the experience or evidence that lights the fire of faith, or to believe or trust in something.  Only the foolish place their faith blindly.

Want to know more?  Click here.

My cousin has chosen to live as a Vegan.  Her decision wasn’t based solely on scientific fact, but rather it was a moral decision.  She wanted to withdraw her support from the meat industry for the way they treat animals.  Simply put she doesn’t trust them.  And how can you blame her?  If you have ever watched the way a cow lives on todays farms and how they are later killed it would make your stomach roil.  And the treatment and conditions for the employees of the meat companies are equally as dehumanizing.  She made the choice to value her humanity above that of eating meat.  I wish I were that principled.

Mind you, if you go out to eat with her, you’ll never know she is a Vegan.  She doesn’t beat you over the head with her values.  She’s not going to tell you how evil the meat industry is.  She chosen to be quietly faithful to her values.  For faith cannot be separated from faithfulness.  And my cousin has taught me a lot about what it really means to have faith.

I ask people all the time what they think hope means.  You might be surprised to hear that most people can’t define hope.  But we use in our everyday speech all the time.  “I hope I get there on time,” or “I hope we can save enough money to go to Disneyland next summer.”  In the dictionary it defines hope as: to expect with confidence.  So when you place your hope in something you don’t just think it might happen, you know it will come to pass.  You don’t have room for doubt, because you know this.  You might not have a timeline, but you certainly know it will happen.

My other cousin is married with a large family already.  He really enjoys doing service in his community.  And thankfully his job is one that allows him to serve frequently.  It brings him joy to be able to help folks in his community, but it keeps him long hours.  Often he works at least sixty hours a week.  He does this not only because he recognizes the way it helps the people around him, but because of the opportunities it gives his family.  He has hope that the service he renders will show his community and children alike how to be good people.  Hope is not only alive in his heart, but the hearts of his family to sacrifice their time with him.  They expect good things to come of his service.

Read this book!

Now in explaining both of these previous principles there is an unmistakeable fabric that ties them together.  Love of another being over oneself.  Love as a noun is defined as: affection for another being rising from kinship or personal ties.  But love as a verb means: to hold dear.  Both of these meanings are seen in the behavior of my cousins.  They have shown they hold the world around themselves more dear than their own lives.  That kind of love is why we celebrate Easter, Christmas, Martin Luther King Jr Day, The Fourth of July and countless other holidays.  We remember those who chose to love us more than themselves from Christ, to Gandhi, to the various soldiers who have fought for freedom worldwide.  And the fact that my cousins have chosen to pattern their lives in such an ennobling way is not lost on me.

But naturally you are probably wondering, what does this have to do with writing?  I’m getting there, be patient.  In order to establish that we need to tie all of these together.  Love is the big picture the quilt that is made by the contributions of faithfulness and the hope of mankind.  But the thread that holds all the patchwork together is something we fail to notice, because we often define it as insignificant.  It is known as humility.

To define humble as “not proud or haughty or not arrogant or assertive” doesn’t define the word.  It tells you what it isn’t, not what it is.  Just like if I tell you that pepper isn’t salty, I haven’t told you really what it is by telling you what it isn’t.  To be humble means that you have inner strength, you aren’t swayed by what society tells you, but can stand on your own.  Humility doesn’t say it is the most awesome thing since sliced bread, instead it serves you the sliced bread.  It doesn’t call attention to itself, it gives attention to others needs.  Just as pride or enmity of man can be called the universal vice, humility can be called the universal virtue.  But we don’t talk about the threads of humility, because this virtue does not call attention to itself.

We as writers need all four of these virtues.  We must be humble and recognize that there are greater writers we must learn from, but that this doesn’t diminish the need for us to share our message with the world.  We stand in the midst of giants who gladly will lift us upon their shoulders.  We must follow in the giants footsteps and be faithful to our craft.  It cannot grow unless we put ourselves at the keyboard and work on telling stories, writing blogs, and expressing ourselves in the written word regularly.  We cannot ever lose hope.  The writers who make it are the ones who make this a lifestyle, they have so much hope in their writing that they are willing to work at it as a second job till they have become successful enough to make it their only job.  And we must love what we do.  We will have to lose sleep or miss out on family time to pursue this dream.  We will miss out on time with friends.  And we do it because we believe through our efforts we will entertain, change, and build a better world for our children.  Even if that’s not why you have chosen to write, that is why I write.

Fellow Writers, I hope that you incorporate these principles into your lives and when you have the time to write that your words may speak to the hearts and minds of your audience.  Happy belated Easter from the First OG, Jayrod Garrett.  And if I may be so bold to ask:

  

What principles guide your writing?

The Culture Blogs: Sex Education, isn't it about time?

As I finished my last blog I said that I was going to blog about Abortion.  Let's just say that was the seed of a larger idea.  This is one of many trees that have grown from that seed.  I'll get to Abortion itself eventually, but we need a foundation by which to have that conversation.  This series is dedicated to building a better foundation for people understanding sex itself.

President Obama said during his last campaign a loaded statement about his daughers: "If they make a mistake, I don't want them punished with a baby."  This is the kind of fodder that political newscasters rail folks for and here you can see it developed into a meme.  So I went to CNN for a more complete version of what was said.  He followed this statement with: "I don't want them punished with a STD at the age of 16."  Which clearly made this conversation about Sex Education.  But for the sake of our discussion I'd like bring up a single point of the wide array of subjects underneath Sexual Education:  Birth Control.

Politically, Sexual Education is a wedge issue.  In my experience these are issues politicians talk about a lot, and put into place poor standards for how to fix them.  Danielle Deaver's experience is an example of this.  And I'll be honest I don't blame them.  We as American's don't take the time to really learn about most issues in our society.  We tend to hear a few comments that we agree with or disagree with and base our decision on what we want on that.  Because let's face it, most of us don't really want the facts.  The facts can mess with our idea of morality, and too many of us are too shallow in our ideologies to really deal with them (notice I didn't remove myself from that generalization).

My wife a few years ago was in a Human Sexuality class where she was asked to ask a Pharmacist: What is the most effective form of birth control?  The purpose of the question was to see how pharmacists might react to that question.  Well when she went to the pharmacy she wasn't wearing her wedding ring (cause she was going to go exercise after the visit) and she was wearing a Carebears hoodie which made her look like a 19 year old.  And when she approached the pharmacy the pharmacy assistant asked if they could help her.  She asked her question and it caused the assistant take a step back away from her and the counter.  (I can't help, but wonder why?  Maybe it had something to do with her unadorned left hand.)  The assistant then went back to get the Pharmacist and spoke in a low voice to the pharmacist.  The Pharmacist came up, looked at my wife's left hand, and then asked my wife how he could help her.  She asked her question.  Afterwards he began asking her questions that she felt were inappropriate such as: "Why don't you want to have children?"  "How old are you?"& "Does your partner approve of this?"  Because she is awesome, she managed to put up with it long enough for the pharmacist to give her the information.  In her class she was the only person who had a bad experience, but she's not alone in this kind of treatment.  Karen, on prochoice America's Youtube channel shares about her own pharmacy refusal story here.   They are two of thousands who I'm certain have been given the same treatment.  This frightens me.  Not because of their questions, but about the kind of power a Pharmacist (who is a medical professional and therefore required by law to be impartial) has.  Because if either one of them came in as a rape victim and asked for the morning after pill, there is a high likelihood that either the Pharmacist would have refused or they would have walked out because of the emotional stress the Pharmacist would be putting them through.  Neither one of those answers are acceptable.

Birth Control takes various different forms from pills, to condoms, to even implants to prevent pregnancy.  It isn't something folks use just because they don't want a baby, it is used for far more purposes than that.  The morning after pill is crucial for victims of rape, because I cannot see anything more traumatic than giving birth to the child of your rapist.  Even if she puts the child up for adoption she will always wonder about that child and that could get in the way of her healing.  The morning after pill prevents a impregnation in several ways (all of which can be found at goaskalice.com).  Two of which are: Stopping the woman's overies from releasing eggs (ovulation), and making the uterine lining inhospitable to a fertilized egg.  Now contrary to popular belief this is not abortion because there will not be a pregnancy at all if the zygote or blastocyst doesn't attach to either the fallopian tube (which you don't want to happen under any circumstances) or the uterine wall.  This saves a rape victim from having to deal with birthing a possible child from her attacker.

Ever heard of Polycytic Ovary Syndrome?  This is one of the most common female endocrine disorders  which can cause anovulation, irregular menstration, amenorrhea, and polycystic ovaries.  And one of the things they prescribe to help with it is Birth Control Pills.

And lets face it, what if a woman does want to use birth control so that she can have sexual intercourse?  Does this make her a slut?  No.  Basing this on a moral judgment is unfair because all of us have different moral backgrounds.  We don't have a right to judge a woman who has chosen to be responsible about when she has children.  The funny thing about the responsible woman is she has been made a rarity, because receiving an education to be responsible is difficult.  In my experience the same folks who would judge the woman for her actions, are the same who will not give their children an adequate sexual education.  Instead many of them speak of sex as dirty, sinful, and ugly.  Because we don't support sexual education, we unwittingly support the entertainment media that sells kids sexual glamorization.

If we want a nation where birth control is used responsibly we have to give our citizens the right to learn about it.  If parents won't open their mouths, then we need it in our schools and we need professionals who are qualified to teach it without an inflection of their own moral system.  I was in college before I had adequate education concerning sex to help my understanding.  Is it just me, or does that strike you as too late?

I'm deliberately avoiding current controversies to institute deeper thought, because I know as well as you do sometimes we think on an emotional basis as opposed to a logical one.  I hope that this has expanded your understanding concerning birth control.  And I welcome your opinions.  Feel free to add to these thoughts in a way that doesn't tear down what anyone else thinks or believes.  I'm Jayrod Garrett, the First OG and here's a departing question for you:

Do you want your children to be punished by children or

Recognize them for the gift that they really are?

The Culture Blogs: The Hypocrisy of Religion or Where's the Love?

Of all the laws and rules in the world the most important one to remember is the Golden Rule. Every world religion has their own interpretation of it.  You can study it in psychology, philosophy, sociology, and most commonly religion.  Ultimately it has to do with empathizing with others.  Today I would like to take a moment to review several versions of this rule with you to give you a basis for the misunderstanding of this rule so often destroying our credibility in what we personally believe.

Islam: Not one of you truly believes until you wish for others what you wish for yourself. -The Prophet Mohammed, Hadith

Hinduism: This is the sum of duty, do not do to others what would cause pain if done to you. -Mahabharata 5:15:17

Buddhism: Treat not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful. -Udana Varga 5:18

Taoism: Regard your neighbors gain as your own gain and your neighbors loss as your own loss. -T'ai Shang Kan Ying P'ien 213, 218

Judaism: What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbour.  This is the whole Torah, the rest is commentary. -Hillel, Talmud, Shabbat 31a

Sikhism: I am a stranger to no one; and no one is a stranger to me.  Indeed I am a friend to all.- Guru Granth Sahib, pg. 1299

Unitarianism: We affirm and promote respect for interdependence web of all existence of which we are all a part. -Unitarianism Principle

Christianity: Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets. -Matthew 7:12 KJV

And the most plain version of all: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

In each of these systems of thought it comes back to a concept that Christ taught.  I would say that regardless of your race, creed, or religious background this applies to everyone. 

Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. -Matthew 22:39 

Just think about this one concept.  How much better would the world be if we lived according to this one idea?  I don’t think we would have the bitter smear campaigns between the men and women who want to run the country.  It starts up with the politicians and soon it becomes all of the people who follow them saying “F-ing Republicans” or “Democrats are an unorganized bunch of idiots.”  I’ve heard both, and I’m certain you have too.  Most of the people who make that comment claim to believe the Golden Rule too.  But obviously we all have problems trying to live it.

This is a shaka.

It doesn’t just happen in politics though.  Its also a problem in our driving.  I lived in Hawaii for two years and I had the wonderful blessing of seeing how they drove.  Honking your horn at someone is a social taboo there.  Life is slower and the driving reflects that.  And when folks cut others off, or do something that is “cuss-worthy” as long as you throw a “shaka” (most of you know it as the hang loose gesture) to the person you may have offended with your “poor” driving, everything is great.  (In fact I knew folks who celebrated when they saw someone throw a shaka to them.)  While I lived there I never heard anyone cuss because they got cut off while driving, instead they cussed because the love of the shaka wasn’t shared.

If someone feels this way, why hate them?

One of the stories that enraged me more than any other was told to me by a professor at my school.  In class you would never be able to pick out the fact that he is an Atheist.  But if you care enough to visit him in his office, he'll open up to you.  He shared with me a story of when he lived in a different state, of which the majority of was Christians, with a bumper sticker on his car that stated: United Atheists.  That was the only difference between his car and the others in that parking lot.  The very day he placed the stick on his car it was keyed.   Sure it could have been a student who got a bad grade, but he was hurt that people who claimed to “love others as Christ loved them” would do something like that.

I live in Utah and Gay Rights is challenging subject in our state.  It makes some people uncomfortable, it makes other people angry, and some of us just want to see equality for other people in our society.  But some folks feel the need to discriminate, so if you are openly gay you could lose your job.  They hide behind the current laws saying that they are justified in what they are doing, but at the same time those same people will go to church on Sunday and profess their love for God and their fellow man.  That isn’t right.

I know a man raised by his single mother for most of his life.  She is a good woman.  She did community service projects, made sure her son never lived in any dangerous parts of town, and touched the lives of many of the young people she came in contact throughout her life.  And she praised her son in public so much nobody could imagine, that she called him worthless, stupid, and a failure at home.  Her public face was one of love, but what she showed privately was one of anger and resentment.  To be honest though, there was never anything she told him that she didn’t believe was also true about herself.  She lived the “Golden Rule” the best she knew how.  She treated her son the same way she treated herself.  But he left one day and she’s cried for years since then.  I feel sorry for her.

Humility is about unity.  Unity strengthens everyone.

Each day we have a choice.  We can choose our pride and anger or we can choose to find the humble way of life.  Humility is about unity.  That means it strengthens everyone.  We can choose to build the world into a place where I as a Democrat can look a Republican in the eye and tell them, “While I may not agree with you, I understand your intension and I hope that we may find a way to work together to find what will bring us greater prosperity as a nation.”  And where discrimination because of sexual orientation, religious orientation, or cultural orientation can be overlooked because we care about meeting each others needs so much that instead of barring one another from their needs.  And where parents love their children and support them through all the trials of their life.  Perhaps that last is the hardest world for us to find of all, but we must discover it.

While I stand here and I share my feelings I want to share with you that I’m a hypocrite.  Yeah, I’m the number one hypocrite.  And that’s because I know these things and still I disappoint myself with my anger, my pride, and my lack of love for my fellow man.  Every human being deserves the very best I can give them.  And that by no means is easy.  But part of the fact that I recognize myself as part of the problem is part of the solution.  I can be more aware of my own discriminatory or hateful attitudes and work on them.

Our books of the month remain Tankborn by Karen Sandler and Dhalgren by Samuel Delany.  Part of the reason I'm giving away these books is that they both reveal how cruel we can be to one another.  Some folks might purchase them on the recommendation here alone, others will hope to win one.  Regardless they each raise awareness for how we may treat one another poorly in day to day life.  

One lucky follower of the blog will receive each of these books.  Cause I know that not everyone can follow my blog there are two ways to get entries.  One is to actually follow the blog this will get your name put into my hat three times, and the other is to leave a comment on the blog.  For each comment I receive on my blog during the month of March (I think it has said February a few times, my apologies) I'll put your name into the hat once.  I enjoy doing this because it gets me reading different books, supporting authors I love, and it allows me an opportunity to give back to you, my audience.

Next time we'll talk about manipulation as a form of controlling others in both positive and negative senses.  Until then, I'm Jayrod Garrett, the First OG.  My question for you is: Are you a Hypocrite?

The Culture Blogs: My Religion and Conversion

A while ago a good friend of mine Amber Mae, posted on her blog about her conversion story to becoming a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  In this particular season of trying to learn about our political candidates and what they stand for; I find it important not only for the purposes of using it in fiction to share my conversion story here, but also to clarify the facts about what I believe as a member of the LDS Church.

My Mom and I came out to Utah because of family strife caused by her own conversion to the church.  It was originally supposed to be a vacation, but after almost twenty eight years I think it would be fair to say we settled here.  Now Utah is a unique place for a black mormon family to live for several reasons.  Paramount among them is the fact that for most of my life I've felt like LDS community didn't accept me fully because I was black, and that the blacks didn't accept me because I'm LDS.  To illustrate this point I'll share a story.

Shortly after my mother and I arrived in the State we moved up to my hometown of Ogden.  (I've lived in Ogden off and on for about twenty seven years now.)  In the one of the first wards (another word for congregation) we'd joined my Mother was told by the Bishop of the ward to not bring me back to Primary (our children's Sunday School Program), because the teachers were unable to teach me.  Now I realize back at that age I might be a little hyperactive, but so were most of the other kids.  It wasn't because I was active, but because I was black.  Later on in another ward I was called nigger by the same kids who I was going to church with on a regular basis.  And mind you seven, eight, and nine year olds don't know that word, unless their parents teach them, but much of that story will be saved for when I talk about hypocrisy in religion.

So you can entirely understand when I say that as a child my faith in the church was shaken.  I say my faith in the Church because I've always had a relationship with God.  I know he lives just as well as I know I breathe.  One of the times he revealed his presence to me was when I was baptized into the Church.  Now I went a very non-traditional method of joining the church even though my mother was a member.  She wanted me to choose this for myself so at the age of eight years old, which in our religion is known as the the age of accountability, so I listened to the discussions from the missionaries and my mother took me visiting to different churches.  I still to this day remember some of the church meetings and have images of missionaries from when I was small (we totally should have taken pictures).  And I prayed about it.  I chose to be a Saint (what members of LDS church are called), because I thought this is what God wanted for me to do.

That isn't what solidified my faith however.  It was something my Mom said about God speaking to me through the wind, and that when it blew that meant he was proud of me.  Mind you there is nothing in the scriptures about this, but I believed my Mom.  On the day that I was baptized the wind was blowing really hard and I felt in my heart a warm feeling that I remembered the missionaries telling me was one of the ways that God would speak to me.  Since that day the zephyrs of the desert and the cold wind of courage have been my companions at times when I needed to know God was there.  And while not always the same warmth it has now grown to encompass greater courage, more determination, and perhaps best of all simply the knowledge that what I'm doing at that point in my life is right.

You might say that at eight I was too young to know.  You are entitled to that.  You might say that because I've had racism problems in the church, I know people who have told their bishops they have been raped and the church has done nothing, or because of controversial issues within the origins of the church that it isn't true.  My response to that is: Faith isn't faith if there isn't substantial enough doubt to test it.  My faith has gone through the fire and has been purified to be made knowledge.  I know a lot more about God and his love and his plan for me, than I did when I was eight.  I know that God lives; That Jesus was resurrected and lives that I might live with him again; and that there is a prophet on the earth today.  All of those things came from the commitment to serve God at eight.

What about you?  Are you a Non-denominational Christian?  Are you Hindu or a Buddhist?  Maybe you are an Atheist.  Regardless of what you have chosen to be, I'd like to hear about it.  What caused you to make those choose that belief system?  I am not here to put down what you believe, or what you don't believe.  But if we are to engage in building cultures in our writing we have to look at what one another beliefs with respect.  Because in the fiction, we will have to challenge the beliefs of our characters with solid reasoning from other faiths and ideologies.  But here we can recognize one another as human beings who are trying to find their way to happiness.

Because I know that sometimes it can be scary to follow or comment on a blog, I thought it would be appropriate to share my gratitude with my readers by offering to you a book that I am currently reading.  It is the "Hundred Thousand Kingdoms" by N.K. Jemisin.  I've really enjoyed what I've read thus far.  A black female protagonist in a first person narrative in a fantasy world is unheard of, but Nora K. Jemisin has made a beautiful and believable tale that I highly recommend.  So from now til the end of this month, if you comment on my blog I'll put your name into a hat to receive during March one of three copies of the book I plan on sending out.  Think of it as my way of saying thank you for conversing with me.

If you have any questions about being LDS, I am a pretty solid source to ask, because I am an active member of my faith.  I would love to hear yiu share about your own experiences with faith and your own ideologies, but I will not permit my blog to become a place to tear down other religions.  "And now abideth Faith, Hope, and Charity, and the greatest of these is Charity, (1 Cor 12:13)" and because charity or love is a power I believe we can all recognize that we believe in, please share your feelings with love and respect towards all others who might read.  That being said, I love all of you and hope to hear plenty from you in the weeks to come.  Peace!

The Birth of the Diversity Blogs

This past weekend I spent at a writers symposium called, “Life, the Universe, and Everything.”  (Or LTUE for short.)  It is a wonderful program with many of the large names in Fantasy and Science Fiction who attend.  And each year that I attend I get so much out of it.  I learned about all sorts of subjects from “Plots, Subplots, and Foreshadowing,” to “Writing Humor.”  And I felt blessed for the opportunity to be there.  Only as I looked around I noticed something was missing.  I saw Tracy Hickman, L. E. Modesitt, Brandon Sanderson, Mary Robinette Kowal, Dave Farland, and various other standards in the industry.  I met them and enjoyed their company and for some reason I felt like I didn’t belong.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to say I shouldn’t be writing, but I felt the same way I do when I go to church.  Like a speck of pepper in a sea of cream.  All of the big name authors there were white.  Most all of the folks I saw come to the symposium were white.  No hispanics, no asians, and no blacks were in attendance from what I saw.  Recognizing such a poor mixture of diversity in the group of people I aspire to join made me realize something.  This is part of the reason we see such a lack of diversity in the science fiction and fantasy markets.  It isn’t because the people are racist, or they are focused only on the tropes of elves, dwarves, and orcs, but because there isn’t enough diversity in the community.

Between this and a conversation with a man I met at the convention by the name of David Powers King (read his blog, its pretty solid), I realized that I need to start blogging not only how I feel about various things going on in our culture, but about diversity in the various cultures that we have in our world.  Talking about Gay Marriage, Being Black Enough, and what Freedom is are important aspects of the culture we live in and themes to approach in literature, but it isn’t enough.  I want to write about how the Native Americans known as the Inuit live from the perspective of one of their own, or about hispanic culture from those trying to get a college education who are living in it, and introduce people to the rich heritage of black spirituality.  We have so many opportunities to recognize the diversity around us, not only in terms of race, but sexuality, gender, morality, and religion.  And I want to be a voice for helping writers to begin to recognize that.

I heard back in high school that drama was the mirror of man.  Well writing fiction is a form of drama, and I want to see the diversity of the world that I live in reflected better.  Now I’ve been trying to build an audience of late, and I realize that my journey here to develop better fantasy and science fiction will not happen without a community effort of some sort.  I can write about these things all I want, but without you sharing your thoughts and feelings with me, this won’t ever really get started.  And offering you my opinion probably isn’t enough.  So I’ve started an excellent book called the Hundred Thousand Kingdoms by N. K. Jemisin.  She is a black fantasy author who plays against the traditional methods by telling the story in first person and having a black female protagonist.  At the end of this month I plan on putting each person who comments on my blog into a hat and sending three of them a copy of this book.  Think of it as my way of saying thank you for having a conversation with me.

So my question to you is?  What do you want to hear about?  I have plans of talking about the hypocrisy in religion, sharing my own conversion story to becoming LDS, and about what it really is like to be an eskimo.  But I know there are a lot of other ideas out there for cultural diversity and thematic writing and rather than search all of them out by myself, I want to hear from you.  Lets become a team and discover the miracle of the diversity of the world we live in together.

Yesterday you said Tomorrow.

Late.  That is exactly what I am.  I’m late for my blogging this week.  I’m late on reaching my goals seeing as I am two days behind in my writing.  I’m late in finding work to be able to support my family.  I’m late in doing what I need to take care of my career in the military.  I’m getting to sleep late and getting to my part time job late. Everything boils down to this for me this week.  I am late.

And then I saw a nike sponsored quote that gave me a little bit of hope this week: Yesterday you said Tomorrow.  Now that might sound weird, because I really haven’t been keeping up with my goals to reach my dream, but it made me feel good because I realize I haven’t put off my dreams till tomorrow.  I am working on them today.

I have met too many people who are I would refer to as broken quills.  In the grand scheme of things they are not trying to live up to their potential, they stopped chasing after what they really want in life, or it just becomes too much work to chase what they really want.  Now these people entirely could still chase after their dreams, because they still have the ability just like a broken quill can still write, but they get caught up too much in their failings and how far they have drifted away from what they should be doing to make their life what they always wanted as a young adult.

Art and our dreams sometimes equates to sacrifice.  And that sacrifice sometimes hurts or scares us.  My sacrifices of late have been full time work and sleep.  If you didn’t know I recently came back from Iraq.  This completely scared me because I couldn’t jump back into school without having a semester that I would have failed.  I know my limits and immediately before and after a deployment my grades in school are terrible.  So to go back and receive my GI Bill would have not helped me in the long run, so I chose not to return to school as of yet.  However I still work up at school in my dream job.  I work for the Nontraditional Students Center as one of their Peer Advisors which means I help students who are coming to school with families figure out the crazy animal known as college.  It is tremendously fulfilling and I enjoy working with the students a great deal.  This job came with an opportunity to run a literary journal that is run by the center.  I love managing this literary journal because I’ve learned so much about writing, and become much more courageous in the things I’m willing to write and feel.  I don’t think I would be writing the story that I’m currently working on if I didn’t work there.

But here’s where the sacrifice comes in.  I need more hours at my work.  But they can’t afford to pay me more.  I’m capped out.  So I need to seek out a second job.  So far I’ve gotten a lot of rejections, which is par for the course for Americans.  However this is only because I’ve been trying to preserve the job that I currently possess.  If I went and looked for full time work I would be able to easily get a job and my life and the schedule I’m living on would stabilize immediately.  But I can’t give up a job that is helping me to get experience in my field of writing and also in the field of working with families.  I’m going to school to get a degree in working in both fields.  So do I give in or seek after my dream?

As for my writing I’ve been working on it so much that I’ve sacrificed sleep instead of organizing my days so that I can fit writing and my religious studies in at the beginning of my day.  And now I’ve just gotten to the point that I’m burning the candle at both ends and it requires that I change something because I can’t keep up this pace.  So tonight I called a family meeting and shared with everyone my concerns and set a reasonable bedtime for myself and now I’m going to be in bed between 11PM and Midnight.  This will enable me to get up early in the morning to get my writing done before everyone in my home is awake.  Mind you this is still a sacrifice because I personally am a night owl.  I function much better at night, but I need the quiet hours in our home to be able to accomplish the work that I love.

Folks become broken quills because they aren’t willing to make sacrifices to achieve the dreams they seek after.  But sometimes you have to do something to put food on the table and keep a roof overhead.   So we as people and artists are left with decisions that can possibly break our hearts and rend us at our heartstrings.  But that tells more about the caliber of people that we hope to be.  People who sacrifice achieve their dreams, and people who settle complain for a lifetime of missed opportunities.  This isn’t to say that either one is wrong, but to say as much as not providing for my family scares me I’m not ready yet to give up my dreams to support them.  I live by faith day to day, and I believe that I am where I am in my life right now because I’ve worked hard and through the providence of God.  So to support my family I have to stretch a bit further and seek out the right job more diligently this month.  To accomplish my writing I have to get up a lot earlier.  And to achieve my dreams I have to remember: Yesterday you said Tomorrow.

ROW80 Goals for this week:

1. Finishing a single scene of “Crimes of the Umbramancer” each day.
This week I've only finished a scene and a half. I still have Saturday and Sunday to catch up though so I am annoyed, but not unable.
2. Comment on 10 different blogs in ROW80.
I haven't been to any blogs this week. That will change tomorrow morning while I'm in my writing time! Visited ten blogs Friday Morning! And a few more Thursday night! Woo!
3. Video games for only twelve hours for the week.
I only played for nine hours this week. I am gaining better control and I don't intend on playing for a couple weeks at the moment. We'll see how this develops.
4. Bedtime between 11PM and Midnight to wake up at six or seven in the morning to take advantage of the early hours to get my writing all finished each day.
This goal will begin tomorrow morning and we'll see how it goes.
5. Walking at least a mile, five days a week.
 I'm a scoutmaster and I wanted to help some of the boys who are a little less active reach for some goals. So I'm going to be doing a goal that gets me walking so I can keep him accountable cause I'm doing the same work I've asked of him.
6. Finding the perfect job within the next month.
 This will be the journey I make to finding the work that will enable me to move into the next phase of my life. It will likely require some prayer and a lot of work, but I believe that there is a reason why I'm where I'm at right now. So we'll see what happens.

Please tell me about your dreams folks. Why you dream them and what you are willing to give up to achieve them? Or even why you didn't achieve your dreams. We all have some valuable experience to share with one another and I hope this blog is a place where you might find that. Happy dream hunting all!